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The Spinoff’s TV Week: Double-Headed Dogs, Forklift Fury and Reality Paradise

Bringing together the TV moments on the week, including Jon Stewart’s final address, doubling the dogs on TV One and paradise lost in Bachelor in Paradise. Contributions by Alex Casey and Calum Henderson. 

1) A Wedding and a Parakeet in Bachelor in Paradise

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Reality TV naysayers, prepare to be steamed by the news that the greatest show on Earth is back this week on TVNZ Ondemand. Bachelor in Paradise takes the finest heartbroken talent from prior seasons, and throws them all together in a remote island location. It’s a sexy, incredibly stupid version of Lord of the Flies, and this season we have a personality line-up for the ages. A woman who talks to onions. A man who claimed to fall in love with another man on The Bachelorette, a pair of Cinderella-style evil sisters. The first episode featured the wedding of Marcus and Lacey, a pair brought together by last season’s paradise passion. Talk about love in a hopeless place. / AC

2) TV One goes to the dogs

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Some have been claiming it for years, but now it’s indisputably true – TV One has gone to the dogs. Tuesday nights have been taken over by the double-header of Dog Squad and Purina Pound Pups to Dog Stars for a weekly dose of vicarious canine encounters. The depressing reality that I haven’t patted a dog in months was this week soothed by watching hard-living flea-ridden chihuahuas Pepe and Dude have their lives sorted out by dog guru Mark Vette and his team of animal trainers on Purina Pound Pups, while on Dog Squad a cocker spaniel called Mac snitched on a prisoner for hiding a drugs pipe behind a toilet. / CH

3) Jon Stewart Gets the Last Word

Television host Jon Stewart is seen during a taping of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" in New York, Wednesday Nov. 30, 2011. (AP Photo/Brad Barket)

Airing later today on Sky’s Comedy Central, Jon Stewart will host his last episode of The Daily Show, ending a 17-year run. The relentless news parody show will return in September with comedian Trevor Noah at the helm. Finlay Macdonald paid tribute to the legacy of Stewart, and what his wise-cracking political satire meant for the American image:

“Stewart fulfilled the role of reassuring court jester for his domestic audience – telling jokes to power as it were – but for us he was a reminder of another kind of America. This was an America capable of self-examination and self-deprecation, an alternative patriotism that didn’t need to chant “U-S-A” and wave the flag in your face.” (Click here to read the full piece) / AC

4) Forklifts of fury on Maori TV

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With the sports draught on ESPN at the moment, people could learn a thing or two from the programming geniuses at Maori TV – if you don’t have enough sport, just go ahead and invent a new one. Last night saw the debut of the World Forklift League – “the world’s first nationally televised forklift driver championship” – where teams from some of the country’s biggest companies go head-to-head to in a series of fun forklift skill challenges. You might as well cancel all other Thursday night plans for the next 10 weeks because forklift mania seems certain to sweep the nation. The 11-week elimination series is hosted by forklift driver turned comedian Mike King, commentated by broadcasting veteran Dale Husband, and filmed entirely on location in Dunedin, which will surely be changing its city slogan to ‘Forklift Driving Capital of the World’ any day now. / CH

5) The Final Supper for Come Dine With Me

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With TV3’s new 7pm venture Story releasing it’s mysterious brand of “smart, fun and thought-provoking” on the nation this coming Monday, we have to sadly farewell Come Dine With Me NZ. For now at least. The final week of the show has been in Christchurch, with a typically hodge-podge group including a dodgy student-teacher combo and a young larrikin called Jesse who spat milk across the table after eating half a chili. God defend our free land. Click here to read our rolling recap of the glorious final week.

Watch: Gloriavale: Life & Death, Sunday TV2 at 8:30 – The new instalment, sure to provide more insights into Honest Christian’s not-so-merry commune.
Binge: Brooklyn Nine-Nine on Lightbox – New to Lightbox in August, this cop comedy starring Andy Samberg is basically a prison of non-stop gags.
Movie: Wayne’s World, Saturday FOUR at 8.15pm – Party time, excellent. A much-needed reminder of the hilarious “a sphincter says what?” joke.