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The Tribe Has Spoken: Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 3

SURVIVOR SAN JUAN DEL SUR: BLOOD VERSUS WATER 2 POWER RANKINGS

17) NIGHT ROCKER

Rocker owned this ep, so it only makes sense to start with the fact that Johnny Rock looked absolutely terrifying in night vision mode.

night rock

16) JULIE ROCKER

Yeah. On the surface, Julie Rock has had a bit of a rough time, what with her lover getting raked through the bloody coals and having a little jungle breakdown. Overall, I still feel like Julie LeRock is in a good position. In the long run, John was always gonna be a liability. Shedding her buff beau frees her game up, and considering her tribe seems to be fairly idiotic, I see Julie von Rock going far.

15) FAMILY TIES

sad keith

Sad Keith.

sad wes

Sad Wes.

Ahh, the sad family.

14) JOHNNY ROCK SLEEPING LIKE A LITTLE CHERUB FETUS BOY

little rocker fetus

13) JONATHON ROCK SIDE-ON VOX POP

profile

Cool dude.

12) BAYLOR’S NAILS

orange nails

Stylish.

11) KEITH SURVIVOR LOOK 2

 keith survivor look 2

Camo hat. Togs. Fresh Nikes. Machete. Pure Survivor.

10) ROCK BED!

rock bed

I mean. The accompanying homophobic gag sequence was kind of rough, but I guess that’s the price you pay for a sneaky peak that the bizzarro rock beds they sleep on at Exile Island.

9) THE DEMISE OF JOHNNY ROCK

It was always going to happen, but I’m kind of bummed that it had to be this early. Johnny Rock may be the worst, but he was definitely good TV. At least we got a pretty decent flame out.

Obviously it was really terrible, but it was also really awesome when he was at the challenge and basically said, “let’s move all this shit and have a fight”!!! What a legend.

Also how sick is this torch snuff!

Never forget Johnny Rock dominating three episodes of Survivor in 2k14.

8) NATALIE

Shout out to Natalie for playing a huge part in extinguishing Rocker from afar. I’m looking forward to her ripping the piss out of the idiot dudes on her tribe in future episodes.

7) DALE YELLING

Also bro why you so tucked in bro!?

tucked in

You look like a fricken psychopath!

Which brings me to my nek point.

6) IS DALE SECRETLY THE WORST?

I dunno. Seems like maybe he’s the worst. Especially after listening to a few of Rob Cesternino’s exit interviews, where people basically say everyone hates him. I’m very close to switching my old man allegiance to handsome old Keith.

5) BAYLOR

I’m deep into buying Baylor stock. I don’t reckon she’s done anything particularly impressive, though she did a good job of navigating Rocker-gate. What’s really putting me on team Baylor is her edit. She’s getting a long game edit, which makes me think this young gun has a way to go.

4) WES’ TOUCHING TRIBUTE TO OLD YELLER

wes dog

3) Dale’s Twitter Handle

69

LMFAO what a legend. I take it all back. Dale is the man.

2) Jeremy

Jeremy looked strong again this episode. It’s possible the early eviction of his wife could motivate a Tyson-like push to the final tribal council. I feel very good about Jeremy at this point.

1) Josh

 josh

For the second week in a row Josh looked like the only person who could potentially win the game. Josh is building a strong resumé. I worry a bit that he’s going too hard and could fall victim to a post-merge booting but, to be honest, if Reed makes it across the line, Josh will have a perfect human shield to carry with him to the end.

Episode 3 Recap:

Tommy’s Thoughts

tommy tek2

A very nice episode in my opinion. The Johnny Rocker drama was bound to happen sooner or later. I can’t imagine it getting much darker than the Rock man threatening to knock a small Sri Lankan woman’s teeth out, after a weirdly violent challenge. I enjoyed all of that and reckon John’s eviction will ultimately lead to more interesting strategic happenings.

Other than the Rock stuff, there wasn’t too much going on here. They certainly laid the seeds for some future distrust on the blue tribe which should be weird. Alec and John seem like honest to god knuckleheads and it’ll be good to get to know the blue tribe a little better. Fingers crossed the preview wasn’t just blowin’ smoke up our asses.

I imagine there’ll be some kind of tribe swap in a few episodes time too, which is nice to look forward to.

Watch Survivor on FOUR On Demand here

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