We review the entire country and culture of New Zealand, one thing at a time. Today, staff from The Spinoff gorge themselves on giant pieces of fried chicken.
Before you read this review, go somewhere you can listen to this at the same time. Trust us.
Today The Spinoff lunched on more than $50 of fried chicken from a shipping container, complemented only with some sponsored mayonnaise. Some used cutlery, some ate with their hands. All were overwhelmed.
These are our reckons.
It spread like a virus. One person wanted the big chicken. Two people wanted the big chicken. As the fellowship journeyed forth to Kai Eatery up by the Auckland Central Library more orders came in: Five big chickens. Six.
They said it couldn’t be done. Fried chicken couldn’t constitute an entire meal. Asiatic spices were the wrong companion to crispy skin. A piece of chicken that big would make you sick. They were (mostly) wrong.
The skin was crisp, the flesh firm. A formidable piece of chicken; a slab, if you will. This chicken constitutes an entire meal and there’s no two ways about it.
I feel quite sick.
/ Don Rowe, staff writer
Very impressed by the size and format. The chicken itself didn’t seem too thin either, as you often get with schnitzel that’s been pounded to stretch it out. Could do with being spicier and a side of sauce to dip into would have topped it off nicely. Luckily we had six month old mustard mayo in the fridge (recommended).
8/10 would buy again.
/ Kerryanne Nelson, general manager
Much better than food from a shed has any right to be.
/ Sam Brooks, staff writer
Succulent and spicy, crispy and tasty: this was some very good street food chicken. And the wee sleeve it comes in makes a very good hat.
/ José Barbosa, staff producer
It’s a massive piece of chicken with nothing else and that’s because it needs nothing else. No idea what they put in the batter but it works. Most people (including myself) couldn’t cook a small schnitzel without drying it out like a carcass, and yet Kai Eatery have managed to make a thicc chicken slab the size of my head remain juicy. A tip of the hat to all involved.
/ Madeleine Chapman, staff writer
i feel like im going to die but what a simply gorgeous way to go
/ Alex Casey, television editor
I’ve always wanted to eat a moa, and this giant piece of chicken felt like as close as I will get. Moa goes very well with PR provided mayo “with a pinch of mustard”.
/ Simon Day, partnerships editor
It’s like there’s a party in my mouth, but the queue to get in never ends.
/ Jamie Wall, staff writer
I liked it a lot. Why does José have bits of chicken in his hair?
/ Toby Manhire, politics editor
Verdict: Truly a giant piece of chicken. It does what it says on the box.
Good or Bad: Unanimously quite bloody good actually.