Five Aucklanders hit hard by the big storm

Illustrator and writer Toby Morris checks in with five Auckland residents to get their reactions to last night’s storm.

Geoff Tonkins, 28, St Heliers

Geoff was up reading up all this bloody hoo-ha about Taika saying New Zealand was racist. Racist!? Pfft. He had a real zinger of a comment lined up about the Maoris and the Morioris but just as he was about to hit publish he had a sudden urge to do a quick google about the morioris just to check he was right, and right then the power went out.

This morning he’s still kinda mad. He’s got internet at work now but is thinking he should probably wait till he’s at home to post it. It’s not that it’s racist, but, you know, maybe not an ‘at work’ thing to say.

 

 

 

Lauren Walker, 22, Junior assistant shift manager, Trampoline World, Birkenhead

It was all going to be so easy. Lauren has 6000 words on the impact of globalisation on Central Asian political regimes due after the school holidays and it was looking like it was going to be quiet. Like usual. Take a few admissions, wipe down a pad or two, but with the weather looking good no-one would be taking the kids to Trampoline World would they? It’d been quiet all summer, and most shifts it’d only be Geoff on as well, and he didn’t mind her getting reading done as long as she didn’t say anything about him playing poker on his phone or whatever it was he was doing all day.

So she should have had heaps of time to work. Who wants to bring the kids indoors when the weather is nice? And really, how many people on the north shore love trampolines that much that don’t just own a trampoline? God dammit.

 

Sina Mueller, 53, office assistant, St Marys Papakura

Sina didn’t know she liked the Hammer Throw. I mean, she’s been loving all the Commonwealth Games but this women’s Hammer Throw business had her glued to the TV. Not only was the kiwi Ratcliffe looking good, but her main rivals like the Canadian and that english woman who apparently had won bronze at the olympics had fouled out already. The Australian looked okay, but only Julia Ratcliffe was nailing it every time. And then? Bloody black screen. What happened? Did you win it Julia?

 

 

 

Mitchell Forrest, 38, account manager, Kingsland

Lucky he got those gas hobs put in. The power was still off in the morning, and it seemed like the office was probably open so he’d still need to make a coffee. He knew he still had that old stovetop espresso somewhere, and after a bit of digging he found that deep in the weird corner cupboard that’s impossible to reach the back of. He had to give it a good clean but then the bloody grinder wouldn’t work and he only had fresh beans. He was sure he used to have a hand grinder at some point but he couldn’t find it, even right in the back of that damn cupboard even when he lay on his stomach on the floor and got a sticky mark on his new shirt from when he’d dropped a feijoa skin near the compost and not mopped it up properly.

 

 

Strikeforce, 2, a tui, Blockhouse Bay

With a heavy heart we report that Strikeforce, beloved tui of Armagh Rd is dead. The home of her children has been decimated, the whole branch ripped to the ground. Rest in peace Strikeforce.

 

 

 

 

 


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