Joseph Harper

Joseph Harper is a playwright based in Auckland.

Television
Jul 6, 2017

Was New Zealand's first ever season of Survivor good or bad?

Our regular Survivor columnist Joseph Harper wraps up the season that was and the emotional finale, and looks to the future with high hopes.

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Gaming
Jul 15, 2016

Nostalgia mongers Nintendo release adorable tiny NES

Nintendo continue their aggressive expansion into the 'stuff we used to play' market, announcing a tiny version of the iconic NES.

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Sports
Jul 14, 2016

Inside the Tour de France with our Export Gold-loving cycling hero, The Flying Mullet

Shane Archbold has been a surprise standout for New Zealand at this year's Tour de France. He talks to Joseph Harper about what life's like inside the peloton, and how to keep your hair clean while competing in the world's most gruelling race.

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Gaming
Jul 11, 2016

The Spinoff’s Pokémon GO heretic walks back into the light

Can a man change? Joseph Harper returns to Pokémon GO and finds it's not all bad.

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Gaming
Jul 8, 2016

This Week I Played: Pokémon GO (and it was not good)

Dyed-in-the-wool Pocket Monster fan Joseph Harper joined the burgeoning Pokémon GO craze this week and found it overwhelmingly pointless and bad.

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Sports
Jul 2, 2016

Tour de France: A beginner’s guide to the greatest sporting event on Earth

Joseph Harper loves nothing more than watching strangely shaped men pump their huge quadriceps in pursuit of cycling glory. You can start sharing some of his joy by boning up …

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Gaming
Jul 1, 2016

This Week I Played: Tap My Katamari Endless Cosmic Clicker!

What is this hideous pastiche of Flappy Bird, slot machines and psychedelia?

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Television
Jun 30, 2016

Throwback Thursday: an extended, vaguely erotic fantasy about eating a Lotto ball

For this, the final Throwback Thursday in our partnership with NZ on Screen, Joseph Harper looks back at the first ever televised Lotto draw, and unaccountably fantasises about eating a …

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Gaming
Jun 24, 2016

This Week I Played: Warcraft II Tides of Darkness

In the continuing saga of the orc vs humans war, humans remain crappy meat sacks.

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Gaming
Jun 17, 2016

This Week I Played: the trailer for Legend of Zelda – Breath of the Wild

From E3 comes the trailer for the new Zelda game and holy hell, it looks great.

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Gaming
Jun 10, 2016

This Week I Played: Mini Metro

Each week Joseph Harper plays a different game that's somewhat out of the ordinary. This week he gets his mitts on locally made Mini Metro. My friend and local indie game …

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Gaming
Jun 2, 2016

This week I played: Killer Panda vs Bushido Bear

Two smartphone games about bears fight it out for space on Joseph Harper's home screen

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Television
May 17, 2016

Do the cargo shorts fit? Analysing the host of Survivor New Zealand

With Survivor NZ set to begin its debut season, Joseph Harper puts new host Matt Chisholm through the ringer to see if he has what it takes to lead the world's most challenging reality television series.

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Gaming
May 12, 2016

Important: Which new starter Pokémon is the cutest?

Joseph Harper reviews the three new starter Pokémon characters, using sound scientific methods to determine which one is the cutest.

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Sports
May 6, 2016

The hottest hunks competing in sexy cycle romp Giro D’Italia

Pushbike hardouts rejoice: Giro D’Italia is nearly upon us. Joseph Harper could've droned on about strategy, but instead he got got right down to business with the content all of us secretly desired.

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Gaming
May 6, 2016

This week I played: Comedy Games

In honor of the New Zealand Comedy Festival, Joseph Harper dives into a few comedy games, just for the lols.

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Gaming
Apr 30, 2016

This Week I Played: Knights of Pen & Paper 2

At last the communal storytelling simulation that is roleplaying is itself simulated on our phones.

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Gaming
Apr 23, 2016

This Week I Played: Stardew Valley

Stardew valley has it all: peace, more peace and crop analytics

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Gaming
Apr 16, 2016

This week I played: Hyrule Warriors Legends

Joseph Harper plays Hyrule Warriors Legends and loves it, but not really. A few years ago Nintendo and Koei Tecmo teamed up to create a Zelda/Dynasty Warriors mash-up. Zelda, Ruto, Darunia, and …

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Sports
Apr 8, 2016

G.O.A.Tees: The golden facial hair of the Golden State Warriors

The Golden State Warriors have a shot at an NBA wins record, but they've already sewn up the title for best facial hair ever.

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Gaming
Apr 6, 2016

This week I played: Miitomo

Nintendo has made something very strange reports Joseph Harper

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Television
Mar 31, 2016

Throwback Thursday: Celebrating the many faces of Taika Waititi

Joseph Harper celebrates Taika Waititi's ingenious early comedy gems on NZ On Screen, just in time for the national release of his new film Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

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Television
Mar 30, 2016

A field guide to the buttoned-up, Canuck espionage of X Company

It goes down easy like syrup soaked pancakes; Joseph Harper puts you through boot camp on the “unconventional warfare” in Canadian WW2 drama, X Company.

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Gaming
Mar 29, 2016

This Week I Played: Pokémon Blue

Pokémon Blue is back and Joseph Harper loves it like the flower loves the sun

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Gaming
Feb 15, 2016

This week I played – Desert golfing and skiing Yeti Mountain

"It's digital Zen lunacy" - Joseph Harper explores the fairways of a desert golf course before skiing down Yeti Mountain in a fashionable hat in two highly-recommended mobile games.

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Gaming
Feb 2, 2016

This week I played – The Witness

Joseph Harper plays The Witness, a technicolor puzzle game that Alex Casey almost wrote off as 'horseshit'.

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Gaming
Jan 22, 2016

This week I played – That Dragon, Cancer

Joseph Harper plays That Dragon, Cancer, an emotive autobiographical game of a small child's battle with terminal cancer.

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