Bringing together the TV moments of the week, including Graham Lowe’s debut as a political pundit, Rachel Hunter’s scouring the world for beauty products and the announcement of The Bachelorette Australia.
Graham Lowe vs Jacinda Ardern
Every damn day Paul “Mensa” Henry invites what they describe as “intellectually intriguing” New Zealanders onto his show to discuss the issues of the day. Amongst this week’s crop of staggering geniuses was Graham Lowe, a very good rugby league coach and budding political commentator. Lowe wore a lemon yellow polo, fading into the background next to his fellow panelist, who looked to have stolen all his hair. Perhaps to reassert his masculinity, when asked about Jacinda Ardern’s preferred PM poll result he talked her up as “a pretty little thing” who would “look good” in the position. This caused a minor media storm, but much of the reporting missed what he said after “pretty little thing” – “at the moment”. Fellow intellectuals would know that Lowey was merely noting that all beauty is fleeting, and only art and classic State of O punch-ups are eternal. If you don’t have the brainpower to properly understand Paul Henry’s deep-thinking intellectual show then you probably should probably stick to Breakfast. / DG
Rachel Hunter Hunts For Beauty
This week saw the first leg of Rachel Hunter’s global tour of beauty, where she travels to different countries collecting various methods and potions to stop the tyranny of ageing and unattractiveness once and for all. Our first stop was France, where Hunter found herself eating a massive steak and chips with one lady who claimed it was “healthy”, and then visited another supermodel who told her to only eat vegetables. Among the confusing messages, the one thing that rang loud and clear was Hunter’s disdain for puffer jackets, and love of the Parisian scent. She sniffed everything! From skunk secretion to the local barber, there was no smell left behind. Can’t wait for next week (click here to read my full recap) / AC
Chips For Free on The Ladies of NZ
Naysayers may scorn me for including this in the TV wrap, but I’m here to tell you to get with the programme. TV is fluid man, it’s a sphere – not a spectrum. With that in mind, I’ve been vaguely keeping my eye on ZM’s survey extravaganza The Ladies of NZ this week. Following four women from across the country (well, two from Auckland), the bizarre online series hoped to promise drama, catfights and hair pulling. There were all sorts of whacky events – fashion shows, cow milking, mechanical bull riding, but it all just looked pretty much to me. Disappointingly for them, and heartwarmingly for me, the drama-promising premise has culminated mostly in a group of women eating awesome big bowls of chips and telling them to love themselves. / AC
The New Australian Bachelor is a Flaming Sheila
Yesterday it was announced that the first Australian Bachelorette in television history will be Sam Frost, temporary winner of the last season of The Bachelor Australia. Publicly dumped by Blake Garvey as he spitballed through a million of his top five choices, Frost is an excellent choice for Bachelorette. And this may be wild speculation (it is, absolutely unfounded), but a successful Bachelorette season across the ditch could see us following suit. Just saying, Dani is keen if you guys are, “I would love it, I reckon they are just waiting till I’m older. I think when I’m 25 that will be prime age” (click here for the full My Life in TV interview with The Bachelor NZ’s Dani Robinson). / AC
Cliff Curtis Better Get Ready to Run
As a species we’ve cycled through many terrifying supernatural opponents. Witches. Wizards. Leprechauns. Vampires. The Briscoes lady.. But the one we fear the most in 2015 is zombies. We cannot get enough of those scabby slackjaws with the terrible gaits. Fear the Walking Dead debuted this week, and broke all viewing records for a debut show. This will ensure our own ruggedly handsome (literal) everyman Cliff Curtis, who plays emotionally vulnerable stepdad Travis Manawa, will be running for his life through 2020 at least. / DG
Watch: The Bachelor Pad, Sunday 3.30pm on TV2 – The Bachelor, but there’s lots of them. Forced in a house together to compete for money, deplorable and great
Binge: Suits on Lightbox – There’s one more episode coming tonight before the season goes on hiatus, no better time than the weekend to “suit up”.
Movie: The Station Agent, Saturday 9.30pm on Maori TV – Peter Dinklage at his finest, long before dragon eggs and White Walkers got involved.
The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.