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Fragmentary Thoughts: The X Factor NZ

Fragmentary Thoughts is a new comic strip by José Barbosa, in which he’ll tackle a different television show or phenomenon each month. This time round it’s everyone’s favourite Ed Sheeran-belting swear-fest: The X Factor NZ.

This season of The X Factor NZ has already brought us much: a contestant with a past manslaughter conviction, poor beautiful Stan getting chewed out by some contestants simply because he cared and everyone pretty much wanting to hug Archie into oblivion.

To be honest, the only reason I tune in is to catch up on the judges and the perpetually glazed-looking Dominic Bowden. All of them are super weird. Willy and Natalia are basically from the future, Melanie has the bearing of a grumpy matron and Stan is literally a human version of a care bear – emotions just come shooting out of him. Can’t the producers just film them stuck in a lift somewhere and leave the hopeful musicians out of it?

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The X Factor NZ airs 8 days a week around 7 o’clock on TV3

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