Tara Ward brings you her Shortland Street Power Rankings for last week, including Bella’s DIY nightmare, and the arrival of the first transgender character to Ferndale.
1) Nicole is Emmeline Pankhurst
“Give me more nurses, or I quit! And while you’re at it, put Crunchie bars back in the vending machines!” Nicole’s uprising was confronting that CEO Harper immedicately dipped her desanitised hands into the Christmas Party fund to magic up some extra cash. Take that, corporate management. Up the revolution! Up the people! Up the chocolate bars!
2) Narelle is back to kick the bucket
Narelle returns to Ferndale with bad news: her cancer has spread. She refuses further treatment because she’s here for a good time, not a long time. First on her bucket list is a wild ride down the Southern Motorway, followed by the life-affirming lark of pressing all the buttons on the hospital elevator and not getting out on any of the floors.
3) Bella is a Health and Safety Officer’s living nightmare
Shortland Street is so povo that Bella has to paint her own office. In her free time. What the hell is happening to this place?
4) This week in ‘The World According to Leanne’
Nicole’s bisexuality as explained by her mother: “one minute you’re well adjusted, the next you’ve got your hand up some woman’s top.”
5) Lucy orders a wardrobe directive that TVNZ would be proud of
Esther moved into Lucy and Dayna’s flat, which now means all of Curtis’ ex-girlfriends are under one roof. Whatever will they all talk about? Lucy’s just happy to live with someone other than honeymooners Dayna and George, who’ve turned the apartment into “one big pants-off party.” Esther, please keep your pants on at all times.
6) Haters gonna Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate
New nurse Kate Nathan is an old frenemy of Nicole’s. Or, as Leanne put it, “that man-eating hussy from nursing school.” Kate is bold and brash and punched Jack in the stomach for calling her son a girl. What’s a little on-the-job physical violence between friends? I’m sure Nicole won’t regret this appointment at all.
7) Blue’s clues create a ballyhoo
Blue is another new face in Ferndale. Son of Kate, Blue is a magazine ripping, hoodie wearing, sandwich stealing, school-wagging ball of teenage rage. Blue was born a girl but identifies as a boy, a situation that has Leanne more befuddled than the time she tried to pronounce Ula’s name correctly.
8) Boyd tries to take Bella’s batshit philosophies seriously
Fail.
Ferndale, you did us proud this week. What crazy happenings and hilarious misadventures will you treat us to next? Will Bella paint the staff toilets in a charming shade of Karitane yellow? Will Esther stick to the flat dress code? And will Boyd turn into a homeopathy loving, vegan eating Shaman?
Shortland Street airs 7pm weekdays of TV2, click here to catch up on TVNZ Ondemand