Alex Casey delivers her power rankings for week three of My Kitchen Rules NZ, including Paul and Laurence’s sad departure and a rare possum solution from Kimberley and Brooke.
I can’t believe we’ve already lost New Zealand’s sweethearts Paul and Laurence. Despite Paul whipping out his finest horse impression, it wasn’t enough to keep our Taranaki lads in the kitchen.
In a quite shambolic move for my otherwise flawless ranking system, this week we also met the second group of teams competing for the golden tongs (is that the prize?). Where group one were a bunch of damn larrikins – wise-cracking and impersonating away – group two feel like they have all just emerged from underground bunkers and are meeting modern civilisation for the very first time. I absolutely love the tension, nothing has felt closer to real life than the awkward small talk across the MKRNZ table. Dish up more of that next time, for now I will continue to speculate as to who is the cream of the reality TV crop.
1) Travis and Jeremy
They might not be the best cooks in the competition, but by gum do these two make good TV. Travis and Jeremy’s Otago chillhouse ‘The Fat Heifer’ was the first instant restaurant this week, the perfect blokey bar name not unlike The Dogs Bollix or The Choking Frog. Just any animal matched with an abrasive word. That’ll do it. We learnt a little more about the boys this week, namely that they love chucking back a brew and casually panning for gold. Who doesn’t?
“We’re OBVIOUSLY not dessert men” Travis spat, his skin visibly crawling at the idea of sweet, more feminized pursuits. Just sprinkle some gold flakes on a beer mates, you’ll be sweet. The pair went meat crazy for their meals, making pork belly that Ben Bayly described as “a dog’s breakfast.” Ironically, the dish was called “A Pig of a Start.”
Although Ben Bayly requested a STONKER of a cheesecake dessert (they should have called the restaurant the Fat Stonker, btw), Trav and Jez delivered a weird chocolate mush in a martini glass. I think Henry summed it up best when he said “I found that awkward.” There’s still something about these two, though.
2) Jay and Sarah
The first to cook in group two, Jay and Sarah already take the cake as New Zealand’s Most Attractive Reality Cooking Show Couple. She’s a makeup artist and stay-at-home Mum (explains the spell-binding brows), and he is “in the media and does blogging”. I’ve found their blog, and it’s bloody incredible. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jay hasn’t already whipped them up a cookbook prototype on Blurb. He’s just that media savvy. Although they got a middling yet hilarious score of 69, I think these two have much more up their sleeves.
3) Natasha and Katrina
This Auckland sister team are comprised of a Dior makeup artist and a model, who are determined to prove that they are not snobs. They are keeping their cards close to their chest, but I can still see some much-needed snark seeping through.
I also liked it when one of them said they felt “virtuous” after their light cheesecake dessert. Look out for these two, I feel like they are going to say and do some weird stuff very soon. Nobody can stay that poised for that long, not even a Dior makeup artist. And I think they’ll have some tension with….
4) Kimberley and Brooke
Another sister team, and the Manawatu sheep-shearing antithesis to their Remuera counterparts. I’m in on these two, they run a lodge together and love to talk about possum meat for some reason.
5) Monique and Henry
These legends didn’t get a lot of screen time this week, but they are still my favourites to go pretty far. If only for Henry’s astoundingly buzzy tie collection alone.
6) Lauren and Simon
We have another blogger in the house! Lauren is a prolific food blogger, writing about how to cook flash-looking meals on a student budget. I’ve just spent half an hour on it and now I feel as fancy as Ratatouille. I wish I could go back a few years and tell my student-self to wrap everything lettuce, maybe my life would be really different now.
7) Cheryl and Ruth
I missed Cheryl and Ruth a lot this week, their one highlight for me was when Cheryl said that The Fat Heifer as a restaurant name was “a wee bit weird.” You tell ’em Che-che.
8) William and Zoe
William and Zoe are old friends from uni, she’s a lawyer and he works in marketing. Another Auckland team keen to break through the snobby stereotype, they did a really good job of it by complaining loudly about the cutlery arrangement immediately. Fork’s sake.
9) Cathy and Hannah
Again, we didn’t see a lot from Cathy and Hannah this week. Which is a shame because Cathy was clearly wearing the most futuristic jumper known to man. They’ll be back with a vengeance soon enough.
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