Woah, busy alert! I see you, shuffling papers and scrolling through your calendar with a furrowed brow. Life is crazy, life is hectic. TV? Forget about it! What a nightmare! Lucky for you, we have had a scan of the week ahead and have got your five essential television appointments booked. Sit back, relax and let the trusty Spinoff guide you through your television week.
Bullseye, Friday 7.30pm on TV3
Kellan Lutz from Twilight hosts this new extreme game show, where competitors must go to extreme lengths to hit the bullseye in physical challenges from transforming into human darts to bombing down from helicopters. I did a rare interview with Kellan Lutz last month, and he told me that he tried out one of the stunts and had to get staples in his head. I then asked him if he would come over here and be our Bachelor for season two. He said no. I have since lost the interview footage completely, suppose you could say that… missed the bullseye.
The MTV Video Music Awards, Monday from 12pm on MTV
It’s been a Bermuda triangle of Twitter controversy already. Both Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus have called out Nicki Minaj for calling out the absurd music industry standards that meant ‘Anaconda’ missed out on a bloody Best Video nomination. Perhaps as some sort of olive branch, Nicki’s now opening the ceremony – it’s guaranteed to be killer.
Shortland Street, Weeknights at 7pm on TV2
They have tried their best to keep it secret in the Ferndale world, but Nicole and Vinnie are tying the knot this week. This won’t be a Chris and Rachel commemorative mug type of swanky affair, but they are still a long term crowd favourite that are sure to get some tears rolling down the aisle.
TLC, launches Tuesday on Sky Channel 16
Launching tomorrow on Sky Channel 16 is TLC, short for The Learning Channel. So, what can we expect to learn about? Sister wives, little people, big people, psychic people, obsessed people, tattooed people and people with shocking sexual injuries. This reality-packed “lifestyle programming” schedule is like no other, and will be appointment viewing from now until forever.
Step Dave, Tuesday at 8.35pm on TV2
Season two of Step Dave kicks off tomorrow night, throwing us back into the alarming world of the OLDER WOMAN and YOUNGER MAN relationship. Will she know what Disclosure is? Will he miss the mark and buy her a tunic from Caroline Eve for her birthday? Who is to say.
Bonus Binge Watch: Suits on Lightbox
Season five of the fast-talking legal drama has just gone on hiatus in the US, so there’s no better time to catch up . It’ll only take you 2.5 days, you big wimp.
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The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.