TelevisionMade possible by

Street Week: From Ferndale to Trademe

With Street Week in full swing and Christmas right around the corner, Alex Casey dredges up the very best in Shortland Street merch from the far reaches of Trademe. //

Lionel’s Muffin Cook Book

348930713

Lionel Skeggins was one of Shortland Street’s all-time greats. The cheery café manager played by John Leigh first appeared in a 1993 guest role, and stayed onboard until 1999. You can cut yourself a slice of Lionel with this illustrious muffin cookbook inspired purely by his character.

Containing a mere EIGHTY muffin recipes, this 1996 recipe book is the perfect stocking stuffer, and will keep you churning out fresh muffin flavours until you can probably qualify to run the Shortland Street cafe yourself. If you are feeling romantic, why not cook a muffin picnic and go eat them on an oceanside rock? Careful for those big waves! (this is a joke because Lionel died being swept out to sea). RIP Lionel, may your memory live on in these muffins for many more years.

Kina Print Just Like The Cool One in TK’s House

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 2.01.28 pm

This simple kina print is elegant, patriotic, and identical to the one in TK’s lounge. I needn’t say anymore, this Kina is an absolute Winner.

Funeral Pamphlet

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 2.02.16 pm

If there’s one thing you want from the Shortland Street world, it’s this – A 20 year old prop funeral pamphlet. If you, or someone you know, is still mourning the death of TP and Steve, now is the time to get them the closure they need in this very old, very stained, fake pamphlet. The character of TP, played by Elizabeth Skeen, was in love with Sam Aleni. Bonded by a strong, cross-cultural love, TP and Sam were married despite both their families’ disapproval. Their wedding bliss was cut short after just a few months, with a horrific car accident trapping TP, and also killing Steve. They had a joint funeral, for some reason (budgetary).

Bonus extra: the auction also comes with three photographs of the church in which the funeral was held, taken by an extra (aka the seller). Worth it? Definitely.

The Katene Sisters Cassette Tape

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 2.03.36 pm

First of all, any product that begins with “Shortland Street Presents” should be snapped up immediately and locked away in our national trove with those holographic Lord of the Rings Air New Zealand cups. This rockin’ cassette single “Keeping Up The Love Thing” was released after the fictional band, The Katene Sisters, turned very real in 1992.

The Katene Sisters were originally Nurse Jackie Manu and her cousins. Jackie tried to reform them for a Shortland Street talent quest, but only one showed up. Guess who it was? It was only Annie Crummer from When The Cat’s Away! Nurse Carrie Burton charitably filled in for the missing cousin, and the brand new and improved Katene Sisters were born. The talent quest was a disaster, but the band lived on. Briefly. Annie Crummer and Barbara Griffen ( from The Holidaymakers) wrote this little ditty that was released on cassette with this accompanying video.

If you don’t want this cassette, featuring 3 different mixes of “Keeping Up The Love” (including karaoke version), then I don’t know what you are doing here.

Shortland Street Magazine With Yellowing Edges

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 2.05.50 pm
From the fine corner of print media that brought you our Music Monday psychedelic mixtape comes this, a rare edition of the Shortland Street magazine. The irresistible cover story “Theresa and Craig: it has to be the chemistry…” features a salacious photoshoot where Craig flaunts an unbuttoned pajama top like some kind of striped Hugh Hefner.

Particularly intriguing as well, is the feature “Nick in cyberspace” which I can only assume is some sort of fan fiction about Karl Burnett floating around in a tinfoil helmet. Because it was 1995 and WHAT WAS CYBERSPACE THEN?! Not only is this magazine yellowing around the edges, but it also comes with seven bonus character cards. The Kristy Knight card has a gold seal, so you know it’s good. Get in quick.

Luke Durville’s Beautiful Coffin

8526020

Why don’t you make like this girl and make a rash decision to purchase a coffin belonging to your favourite Shortland Street taxidermist? The exquisitely decorated Van Gogh inspired coffin belonged to Luke Durville, the belovedly weird anaesthetist. After battling a brain tumour, Luke passed away in March 2013. Knowing he was headed for the grave, he threw himself a living wake, with this stunning coffin as the centrepiece of the event. It has since been bought by a die-hard fan and used as a coffee table, then resold on to another adoring and totally normal fan. For bonus points, you could buy the coffin and then this great Ferndale Taxidermy Club tshirt, lie in the coffin, and embody the ghost of Luke Durville forever more. Just a thought.

The Spinoff Longform Fund is dedicated to facilitating investigative journalism. Our focus is on supporting in-depth reporting on important New Zealand stories. Your donation will help us sustain this most resource-intensive form of journalism, ensuring that the most complex and important stories still get told.