With a little help from Twitter, we assembled the best, worst and weirdest TV moments to grace New Zealand screens this year. Please enjoy the confusion, outrage and hilarity that has been NZ TV in 2014. //
Puffed Up Little Shit
Pam Corkery thought she was simply throwing it down to Brook Sabin outside the Internet Mana Party launch. What she was actually doing, was giving us the insult of 2014. What a brilliant corker (HT to Philip Matthews).
Paul Ego Falling Off the Stage
Trust one of New Zealand’s most prolific TV comedians (thanks to Pak ‘n Save) to execute the finest pratfall of the year.
Blood Moon Live Cross
We had to steal this from the funny clip overlords at Best Bits, because this was an absolute slam dunk disaster of a live cross. Much like Jesse Peach at the APRAs, this young Firstline gent was obviously underprepared, but not about to back down for anyone. I’m sure he followed his own advice and got swiftly “out of the country” after this one (HT to Guy Montgomery).
National Loses Itself
Gave way to New Zealand’s best Eminem-based political fued. For that, we salute you.
Good Charlotte Do The Good Weather
If you have the time in the morning, tune into Breakfast for some of the most batshit stuff you will ever see. In this bizarre turn, Joel and Benji showcased the true Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous by jumping in front of the green screen and saying all our place names wrong.
Sarah Potts Dies
Not only the most shocking NZ TV death of the year but, as Eli Mathewson pointed out, the culmination of the greatest storyline of the year. Extract 7 has set the bar insanely high for both Shortland Street and TV3’a unnamed soap next year. We will never forget you, Sarah Potts.
Bella Henry on Politics
Right in the eye of the Dirty Politics storm rose this sensational segment on The Paul Henry Show. Asking regular kiwi punters to weigh in on political issues, Paul obviously just threw a paper plane around his house and chose whoever it landed on. Bella Henry, star of 1-2 episodes of Beauty and the Geek Australia, shared her views on “scooching” over whales, caravan people and letting Jason Ede slide. There’s no telling what her presence will be like on Paul Henry’s daily, multi-platform, simulated reality show next year – but we can’t wait (HT Toby Manhire).
Jeremy Elwood Gets a Nosebleed
Whilst he was doing a good comedy bit about fish genitals smelling like human, my uproarious laughter was instantly replaced with grave concern as blood gushed from Elwood’s nose during this special Dunedin edition of 7 Days.
Nadia Lim on Late Night Big Breakfast
One of the stand out hilarious moments (among too many to count) was this absurd interjection from Jason Hoyte on Late Night Big Breakfast early this year. Featuring culinary darling Nadia Lim, who has no doubt graced many a real Breakfast kitchen bench, Hoyte belts out an extremely loud Once Were Warriors impression followed by some dicey whisk-based cultural appropriation.
It’s a daring joke to make in this Twitter police climate, but is saved by Hoyte’s buffoonish breakfast host persona and the unwavering commitment to pure silliness that underpins the whole show. All you have to do is watch the very long rendition of “We Are The World” by Mike the Mongolian Throat Singer in the finale, and try not to laugh as Hoyte, Wells and Hart absolutely lose their shit. It’s all just a big joke in the end, and some of the funniest TV of 2014.
Jordan Luck ‘Friday’ Vodafone Ads
The perfect amalgamation of 2014’s most relevant musical icons. Cue the biggest eye roll humanly possible.
Peter Williams Reads Out Fake Abuse About Himself
Peter Williams had obviously seen Celebrities Read Mean Tweets in the newsroom that morning, and thought that was what they were doing. What was actually happening was a serious story about cyber bullying, in the wake of Charlotte Dawson’s death. Instead of sincerely reading out real online abuse, Williams made up this own sweet dig at himself, “my mother always told me that people who talk slowly think slowly. You talk slowly, Peter Williams.” That was the sickest burn he could come up with?! Amazing (HT New Zealand Television)
Tova O’Brien vs Winston
In the craziest election of all time, it only made sense that there would be some sort of Mexican standoff involving Winston Peters. At New Zealand First HQ on election night, Tova did her very best to get the goss from Peters, to no avail. He refuses to talk, fires back insults, all the while waiting a million years for the lift to arrive. As John Campbell says, God loves a trier Tova (HT Kimaya McIntosh and Dan News for the footage).
Alex and Corban Gift $30,000 to Quinn and Ben
One of the highlights of The Block NZ, aside from Damo endlessly melting his pants and sneaking the c-word past the editors, was this charitable turn from winners Alex and Corban during the final. Gifting $30,000 of their riches to Quinn and Ben’s measly $10,000, they were met with a “Noooorrrrrr” from Quinn and a stoic brow furrow from Ben as they realised what exactly was happening. It was touching TV, even spindly old Richardson seemed like he might have shed a tear (HT to Roger Dodger)
The Power of Gower
Trusty old Paddy never missed a beat during the 2014 election. His tour of the Oravida headquarters, casually pointing out portraits of both Collins and Key will go down in history as one of the best moments in the weirdest election of all time (HT to Russell Brown and Patrick Gower)
There are a few more that didn’t make the cut because we couldn’t quite source the footage to do them justice: the introduction of the terrible skinhead characters in Hope and Wire (thanks Philip Matthews) and the weird Good Morning episode that was overtaken by The Wiggles (I’m still unsure if this happened or if it was just a cheese dream). If you have your own special NZ TV moment, chuck us a tweet and we’ll see if we can squeeze it in.
Stay tuned for 2015, we’ll be archiving the televisual weirdness every step of the way.
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