Before you say it, yes, we know this is a trigonomic equation

The best of The Spinoff this week

Bringing you the best weekly reading from your friendly local website.

Alex Braae: Fact check: Has there been more striking in 9 months of Labour than 9 years of National?”

The stats are bullshit, because if you were to compare the two figures, you’d completely wipe the tally just with aviation security workers. They very, very nearly went on strike in the middle of 2016, then called it off at the absolute last moment. I asked the PSA about it and they told me that out of 900 unionised workers overall, 700 were set to strike – some of the workers were represented by the union E Tū. So if the categories are the same and the comparison was being made in good faith, it’s not credible to say the numbers are correct. This is especially the case when you consider that Auckland bus drivers also went on strike in 2016.

But not only that, the stats are also flat out wrong.

Toby Manhire: Mike Hosking compels Mike Hosking to issue apology and correction

The host of the Mike Hosking Breakfast, Mike Hosking, has left himself with no alternative but to issue an apology and correction over words spoken by Mike Hosking in yesterday’s “Mike’s Minute” (running time: two minutes, 30 seconds).

The segment refers to media coverage of the Trump administration’s controversial zero-tolerance policy which has seen thousands of children separated from their parents at the Mexico-US border.

“From a media perspective,” says Mike Hosking, “if the election of Trump has shown nothing else it has exposed glaringly the sheer hypocrisy and dishonesty of so many of the industry’s operators.”

Emily Writes: You’re a bad parent with fat horrible children

I’m terribly sorry, but I have news for you: You’re a Bad Parent. You’re a Bad Parent because you’re lazy. Your kids are fat. You eat too many takeaways. Because you’re lazy. And you don’t let your children ride bikes down by the river you fucking monster.

You’re probably thinking ‘That’s not me! I don’t think I’m a bad parent.’ Well, I’m sorry but people selling services and monetising your fear and anxiety around being a good mother think differently. And you should listen to them.

Simon Bridges inhales the life spirit of John Key. Photo by Hagen Hopkins/Getty Images

Hayden Donnell: Please join me in the exorcism of Simon Bridges

How did it descend into this? “Under fire for insulting an infant” is one of the easiest political scandals to avoid. Why was Bridges suddenly having to do damage control for publicly taunting someone literally not strong enough to hold up the weight of her own head?

The answer lies inside the darkest recesses of opposition leader’s soul. Bridges is haunted. As he lays down to sleep, a presence smiles vacantly from the farthest reaches of his spirit and whispers, “At the end of the day, I’m relaxed about it.” As he rises again, it says “To be perfectly honest, I’m ambitious for New Zealand.”

Simon Bridges is possessed by John Key.

Madeleine Chapman: Waiting for Neve Te Aroha: inside the media room at Auckland Hospital

First of all. The prime minister giving birth while in office is news. That’s not even a point of contention. Yes, women give birth every day, but only one world leader has given birth while in office in history. It’s news. And as with most news, it’s more interesting to have a reporter share details from an event, no matter how boring (eg the entrance to a hospital) than to have them in studio.

There was an assumption that the cameras set up across the road from the hospital were waiting for Ardern to emerge, as if she might accidentally walk out the front entrance while in labour and be captured on camera in a viral gotcha moment. In reality, they were set up there in the same way reporters are filmed outside a big concert. There’s something happening inside that can’t be shown but here’s the venue anyway.”

Elle Hunt: What happened to C4 host Joel Defries?

The host of Vodafone Select Live on C4, Defries was the cheeky British chappy of after-school music video TV, and the nation’s highest-profile fan of slim-fit cardigans. “Joel from C4” was a beloved figure among the Boost Mobile generation, as specific to a time in New Zealand pop culture as $10 Text, daily Bebo Luv, and Goodnight Nurse’s cover of ‘Milkshake’.

And then he was gone, the abruptness of his departure the more pronounced for his years of ubiquity. He’d hit the big time in Britain with a presenting gig on Blue Peter, the long-running children’s television programme. But that was September 2008 – and by 2011, he was off Blue Peter, too.

What happened to Joel from C4?

Faith No More play live in a small club (not Vilagrad Wines) in the early 1990s. (Photo by Mick Hutson/Redferns/Getty)

Don Rowe: An oral history of the night Faith No More played a tiny bar in Queenstown

Jim Rowe: It was a kickass gig. Mike Patton, who was a superstar at that point, was just going off  he was out the front, all over the speakers, it was just one of those fantastic rock gigs. It was such a great sounding gig, the room was lined with stone, and it was the perfect set up. The place was pumping. People were literally swinging from the rafters.

Tim Shadbolt: The entourage was my two sons and… well I guess a few hangers on. We had a great time. Then the lead singer and some of the band members turned up at our hotel room. It all gets a bit… blurry from there.

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