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Weekend Watch: Hackers, Horrors and Hot Tubs

It’s Friday again. I can’t believe this keeps happening. Lucky there’s all this television to distract us from the fleeting passage of time that is life huh? Sorry, what a downer. What a terrible way to start a post.

Talking of mortality and fear, might I suggest this weekend’s binge-watch to be the original season of American Horror Story. Here’s a few reasons why:
1) It is the scariest television show of all time (look even the house is scary)
2) You can watch it all here on Lightbox and cram in mega-scares and get real tough
3) The brand new season AHS: Freak Show starts on Sky on Monday (9.30pm on SoHo)
4) Wow what a great way to start getting psyched for Halloween

If that ain’t reason enough, check this out. Argh! Who is that guy in the washing?!:

Alright. Back to reality. Reality television, that is. As always, I’m going to hammer home The Block (tonight on TV3 at 7.30pm), Survivor (Sunday on FOUR at 6.30pm) and My Kitchen Rules (Sunday on TV1 at 7.30pm). Don’t know what the heck I’m on about? Stop panicking for god’s sake, we’ve got you covered with our extensive recaps.

Also in reality news I would like to recommend Excused (FOUR on Saturday at 10.30pm), a terrible dating show with the most terrible people, and inevitably some kind of hot tub. Also flick over to The Voice (TV2 Saturday at 7.30pm) because Adam Levine has recently dyed his hair blonde and looks like a deranged Von Trapp child.

Excused

If you are feeling like a touch of crime, why not just stay inside and just watch these shows about crime? The brand spanking new series of N.C.I.S New Orleans start on Prime tonight at 8.30. Fun! Criminal Mardi Gras! New Zealand’s own The Brokenwood Mysteries has got plenty of murders (Prime on Sunday at 8.30), and you can wash it all down with Hannibal on TV3 at 10.40pm.

But we have saved the best till last. Tonight on Prime at 7.30pm, Scorpion scuttles onto our screens. In recent weeks the internet has touted it as the most “batshit insane” show in recent years. The reviews? Let’s just say they have been mixed. The show is about a group of genius hackers who work to solve “complex global problems” together. Seems a bit vague? That’s because it is. Check out this regular day the office:

 

What a great adrenaline-filled start to the weekend. Have fun out there.

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