It’s the weekend. You can’t deny it, it’s definitely about to happen. Lucky you’ve got that giant television spreadsheet nailed onto your wall to get you through the next 48 hours. Oh, you don’t? Well never fear. It’s scheduled to rain a lot over the weekend, so let us guide you through the two days of televisual bliss that await you.
If you are looking for a curtains-closed-slippers-on sort of a binge-watch, the hot property on Lightbox at the moment is Mad Men. The sexy 60s drama is often touted as one of the best television shows ever made, but don’t feel bad if you haven’t seen it yet. Some of us haven’t either. That’s right, even here at The Spinoff we suffer from certain television deficits, so we implore you shed your fears and join us as we delve into the world of fancy television missed connections. Watch at least the first episode, and then we can all talk about it and pat ourselves on the back on Wednesday.
If a weekend binge isn’t quite your style (you call yourself a New Zealander?!) Tune into Heartland tonight at 7.30pm for an iconic screening of the 1977 kiwi classic film Sleeping Dogs starring Sam Neill. When that’s over, why not cap off the night of kiwiana with a visit to The Paul Henry Show at 10.40pm on TV3. He won’t be in that time slot forever, let him be the last person you see at night before he becomes the first person you see in the morning 2015.
Saturday is ripe for the television picking, TV1 has an interesting show called Death Threat at 3pm which appears to be an overly-dramatic docu-series about cholesterol. Continuing this apparent trend of cinematic kiwiana, why not check out Tracker at 10.30pm on TV1. Starring Ray Winstone and Temuera Morrison and set in 1903, it’s got the Boer War, it’s got chills, it’s got action – it’s even got some tense colonial stuff. If that’s too heavy for a Saturday night flick over to TV2 for Goon, where Sean William Scott plays a goon who learns to play hockey and overcomes being a goon.
For a lazy Sunday, tune into River Monsters on TV1 at 5pm. Apparently in this episode, host Jeremy Wade will investigate a monster who tore off a man’s face in Bolivia. As always, we are going to ask you kindly to tune into Survivor at 6.30pm on FOUR and My Kitchen Rules at 7.30pm on TV1. We can ease you into these beautiful reality worlds with our comprehensive recaps. Then, round off your weekend as it began (with Paul Henry, presumably), and tune into Ends of the Earth at 10.30pm on Heartland. Our Paul visits the Arctic circle to catch up with a local fisherman, then presumably skypes his mum Olive to get her to say something zany. I imagine, I haven’t seen it yet.
Have a nice weekend.
The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.