In response to the news that John Key was dared by an anonymous TVNZ presenter to style her hair (and obliged), Alex Casey speculates as to who shares ombré tips with our country’s PM.
Yesterday the news that John Campbell was leaving TV3 shook the internet to its very core, burying all other news deep under the emotional rubble. But there was another shocking television scandal which which tried to use the budget as cover so as to make a clean getaway. Never fear, your old mates at The Spinoff were on the case:
A ridiculous piece of news that required an equally ridiculous response. You can’t just say ENDS. The only ENDS I care about here are the split ends of the TVNZ presenter that loves to get an up-do with their best friend, Prime Minister John Key. So, who could it be?
With luscious hair that is most definitely long enough for some serious horseplay, Toni Street is a prime candidate for this kind of friendly tomfoolery. She’s used to being this close to Hosking who, as we know, is deeply passionate about the “agenda driven circus” that is playing with other people’s hair.
Potential hairstyle: Cornrows. Very Street.
John Key could have glided onto the Good Morning set whilst Peta was whipping up a quiche. Maybe he saw her bright red hair as a political statement, and was trying to stroke it into a deep shade of blue? Maybe he mistook her for North Shore MP Maggie Barry, and was trying to communicate in secret National Party hair-morse-code.
Potential hairstyle: Beehive. Still mistaking Peta for Maggie, John Key styled her hair in the shape of their mutual favourite building. Probably.
Pippa seems like the type of woman who wouldn’t take any crap from a middle-aged right wing hypeman but, at the same time, she did spend a lot of time next to Paul Henry.
Potential hairstyle: Pippa’s Pretzel, a looping chignon that takes three painstaking hours and is finished with a sea salt spritz.
Whilst digging for dirt on this Good Morning host, I found this article about her haircare routine. “My hair is washed, blow-dried, straightened or curled and hairsprayed to within an inch of its life five days a week.” Sounds like those locks might need the gentle caress of an amateur hairdresser, and Prime Minister of a country, Jeanette. She’s obviously done for hair fun, even being hypnotised into a hairdresser once. Prime suspect.
Potential hairstyle: the Good Morning Wake-Up-do, hair is sucked into a Roomba, drenched in the remnants of Nutribullet juice and left to air dry on a piece of memory foam.
More on the case as it unfolds, please ring in any tips to 0800 HAIRSTYLE / @thespinofftv
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