Inside the Lightbox is a sponsored feature in which we mine the extensive Lightbox catalogue for cool shows you might like to watch. This week, Alex Casey gathers a team of women who could give Hillary Clinton a run for her money in 2016.
Throughout her years in the political sphere, Hillary Clinton has suffered from sexist scrutiny and has often been called, what a FOX reporter artfully described as a “term that rhymes with witch”. With the announcement this week that she will run in the American Presidential election next year, Alex Casey rounds up a few more women who pride themselves on being that exact word that rhymes with witch, and harness the power of the feisty woman.
Claire Underwood, played by Robin Wright, is the stone cold wife in the centre of the political storm in House of Cards. Married to Frank Underwood, who “loves her more than a shark loves blood”, she’s far from the subservient White House-wife that pending First Ladies have historically been known to be. Instead, she is a hardcore lobbyist, running a nonprofit environmental organisation as well as keeping her husband on the rowing machine.
She’s an ice-blonde Ice Queen, conniving and ruthless in her own admirable – and some less admirable – pursuits. When one of her old employees turns up pregnant in season two, wishing to fight for healthcare reform, Claire spits venom. “I am willing to let your child wither and die inside you, if that’s what’s required… Am I really the sort of enemy you want to make?” Terrifying. You’d be too scared to not vote for her.
The vodka-swilling matriarch of Arrested Development’s dysfunctional Bluth family would be great pals with Hillary for sure. She has all the self-interest of a politician, without a shred of the social conscience. At least her poor treatment of the people around her is even-handed, her own son cops just as much flak as the Hispanic housekeeper Lupe.
She won’t let anyone get in the way of her principles, which seems like a fine trait for a forward-thinking politician. I am reminded of an episode where she asks for a vodka rocks and a piece of toast for breakfast. Sticks to her guns, that one. Her alcoholism could prove to be a problem in the White House, but then it could also be quite funny to have the America’s first all-female, all-drowsily-winking president.
Lizzie Borden of The Lizzie Borden Chronicles (arriving on Monday 20 April)
Here is another female character that would gladly be called a “rhymes with witch” any day. In fact, I dare you to call her that. Lizzie Borden, based on a real-life lady, is an axe-wielding gal with her very own terrifying limerick:
“Lizzie Borden took an ax
And gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one.”
This young woman was tried in the US for the murder of her own mother and stepfather in 1892. Lizzie was acquitted for the crime based on inconclusive testimonies, and sent back into the world and her new-found infamy. So the girl knows how to cope under pressure in the public eye, and would have some cut-throat policies. The Lizzie Borden Chronicles follows her life after the grisly spotlight was placed on her, exploring how she, and the people around her, cope with the aftermath of the sordid events. A little bit like Hillary’s scrutiny post-Lewinski, but also not at all like that.
Glenn Close stars in Damages as Patty Hewes, a woman who would not blink at being called the witchiest “rhymes-with-witch” of them all.
She’s not afraid to call out hideous bookshelves, or let people know that will always only be second best. Working in litigation for her firm Hewes & Associates, Patty works to tear down her corrupt male counterparts who have used their powerful positions for evil. And also order the gruesome murder of anyone who gets in her way. A strong feisty woman tearing down old corrupt white dudes with a pronounced ruthless streak? Hillary 2.0, please place your hand upon the bible.
The Bulletin is The Spinoff’s acclaimed daily digest of New Zealand’s most important stories, delivered directly to your inbox each morning.