With the Bogans eliminated from Group One, this episode moved on to a whole new group of very loosely characterised teams. As anticipated, The “Corporate Dads” are the premiere dream comedy team, followed by “The Fireman and His Flame” (doesn’t seem like a real thing), rounding off with “The Christchurch Cuties” (who met at McDonalds). But we’ll see them all later, this episode was all about Aaron and Heather (The Polynesian Cooks). Please don’t shoot me for calling them that, that’s literally what they are called on the show.
This team immediately seemed like one to watch. At the supermarket, they announced that they were making a TRIO of ceviché as their starter. Three different types! At least three more opportunities for contestants to say ceviché weirdly! As if they hadn’t already gained a gold Michelin star with that, they headed to the cacao section of the supermarket to get their dessert ingredients.
Back at their instant restaurant “Tatou” (meaning ‘we’ – the most earnest and well-thought out theme so far), the teams were starting to get weird. Ian (The Fireman) revealed he only buys rotten meat, and hates eating cauliflower. Lucky for him their menu contained both disgusting unspoiled meat and a cauliflower puree. This was closely followed by Jessie cranking out a pig impression for some reason. Just that cute Christchurch charm I suppose. The starters were promptly served to stop the snorting. They nailed the ceviché, even impressing Jessie who had only ever eaten fish from fish and chips.
The oven broke during the main course, meaning that the “sleepy eye fillet” had a major snooze. This opened up a bit more banter across the table, with Ian advising fellow contestants not only to cook with rotten meat – but to cook a jus for at least three days. Now I don’t necessarily know what a jus is, but it’s featured enough on the show so far that I’m pretty sure it doesn’t need three days to make. Not missing a beat, The Corporate Dads jumped into a role play and nailed it: “Sorry kids you can’t have food for the next three days – Daddy’s cooking the jus.”
Once the main course came out, everyone was happy again. Even Ian, who sampled a small bit of his detested cauliflower and Ricki, who was a vegetarian up until that very point. The cacao-tastic dessert of “Boca Loca” was the hero of the night, impressing Ian with the small smattering of popping candy as a garnish (“I think it should be in every dish”). The Boca Loca scored very highly with judges and contestants alike, and also encouraged some potentially racist pronunciations. Overall, Aaron and Heather soared straight to the top with a grand score of 75. Kia ora tātou, it looks like we have a new frontrunner.
Buzzword of the ep: tie between “Boca Loca” and “jus”
Prop of the ep: rich block of cacao
Screengrab of the ep: Ricki making a pig face during pig impression #2