Please enjoy this week’s episode of Shorty Street Scandal, wherein James Mustapic recaps the past week of Ferndale hijinks. This week? Kronos the cat gets karmic with Dallas and we revisit Harry before he got a major facelift/attitude problem:
Kronos the cat is definitely a weird addition to the Shortland Street world. It’s not often that an animal gets named on a show and is responsible for so many one-liners. Or weird insinuations of bestiality. Bless you Kronos, father of Zeus and urinator of uniforms. As if Dallas and Bella need anymore strain on their relationship, Dallas got Kronos neutured without asking Bella. Looks like Kronos isn’t the only one (puts sunglasses on) without any balls.
The drama doesn’t stop there. Much like his powerful Titan namesake, Kronos sought mystic revenge. Dallas got nailed in the crotch during a game of cricket, and order was restored in Ferndale. A ball for a ball. He’s a powerful cat, and will potentially be CEO by the end of the year.
Meanwhile, the Shortland Street fake name game was considerably lifted once more with the introduction of Honor and Kane’s favourite band – Falling Boy. Not to be confused with topical and popular band Fall Out Boy. The pair watched a romantic Falling Boy concert DVD at home together, and started making out. Looks like Falling Boy (puts another pair of sunglasses on top of the other sunglasses) got that boy falling – in love.
Finally, we have a throwback to a hugely important historical moment. Some may remember 2009 as a big year for popular culture. Michael Jackson died, Avatar came out and, most importantly, Harry Warner was recast. Harry Warner used to be nothing but a mop of blonde hair that almost fully disguised his festering disdain for the world. In a great Stars in Their Eyes style moment, Harry ceremoniously walks through the back door to go on holiday, and returns through the same door a changed man. Most people just get a braid on holiday, Harry got a whole new body, face and attitude.
RIP Old Harry Warner. Never forget.
The Bulletin is The Spinoff’s acclaimed daily digest of New Zealand’s most important stories, delivered directly to your inbox each morning.