Please enjoy this excellent episode of Shorty Street Scandal, wherein James Mustapic recaps the past week of Ferndale hijinks. This week? Harper gets bizarre with a ham, lads steal a laptop and Leanne is the human embodiment of this song:
Our favourite London lovebirds Ula and Dallas sent a delightful postcard snap from the London Bridge this week. It looked great and 100% authentic, made even more real when James slotted himself through the mighty power of PhotoBooth. But the weird pictures didn’t stop there, Murray received a slew of lewd snaps from the guvna’s – including a racy bathtub shot. I haven’t been that creeped out since Harry Warner watched Wendy and Murray’s sex tape. Ferndale has never been friskier.
Talking of frisky, Lucy and Clementine hit the clubs this week, where Clementine proceeded to become a total hornburger. “Hot guys don’t need personalities,” she mused, shortly before picking up two guys to take home. Unfortunately the pair were then robbed mercilessly, the club-dwelling thieves leaving with Rachel’s precious laptop before daybreak. Soon after Leanne (possibly the worst person you want to see hungover) turned up demanding to use the laptop for some reason. Lucy lied and managed to get her to leave. Oh but she only just got back!
Harper and Boyd had a huge fight this week, so Harper naturally stole a giant ham from a function to heal her wounds. “They over-catered so I liberated,” she boasted, unwrapping the huge ham in the staff room. I’ve got nothing against this ham-fisted move at all, nor the proceeding Ham Sandwich Talk ZB that followed. Shortland Street needs more sandwich banter. Idea: Sandwich Street.
Everyone can rest easy as Leanne has finally returned to Ferndale, this time touting an enormous teddy bear. I can only assume that she spent the majority of the week away playing the Big Bertha arcade game at Rainbow’s End. There was an excruciating scene where Leanne revealed her penchant for younger men, namely a young fawn called James wearing oddly fawn-coloured scrubs. Leanne is en route to Cougartown, and she can’t be tamed. Her aspirations were greatly helped by TK, who accidentally slapped Leanne on the butt one afternoon.
Then this happened, and nothing was ever the same:
The Spinoff Daily gets you all the days' best reading in one handy package, fresh to your inbox Monday-Friday at 5pm.