Please enjoy this week’s episode of Shorty Street Scandal, wherein James Mustapic recaps the past week of Ferndale hijinks. This week? Harper goes bizarre for old pizza, Dallas invents a cool colleague called Fridge and we find out what Santa does for 364 days of the year:
This week, Harper found herself eating pizza alone in the flat – only to be rudely interrupted by Dallas and Bella. She wasn’t keen to talk, and was very keen to eat. “Pizza tastes better on the second day anyway,” she sadly mused. The next day at work, good guy Garret tried to ease her pain by purchasing a single gift peanut for $2. I share James’ outrage at the extortionate Ferndale peanut market rate. On a sidenote, I fully agree that the salesman looks like someone in a Lorde music video. Got that pointy/clean Devonport youth look, “and we’ll never buy peeeeaaaaaanuts (peanuts)”.
Meanwhile, back at Dallas and Bella HQ, the search for a flatmate got dramatic and slightly silly. Bella suggested that Lucy, whom Dallas pashed without her knowing, moves in with them. Dallas panics about this, and has a great George Glass moment. Instead of being normal and coming up with a human name, he says that he is waiting on his workmate “Fridge” to get back to him on the flat. Unsurprisingly, Bella buys it. Later on, Lucy gatecrashes Dallas telling an interesting ferret story and he chokes on his vino. No word on who will be playing the groundbreaking role of Fridge just yet.
The Dallas/Lucy kiss debacle gets to peanut baron Garret as well. Trying to get to the bottom of it one easy lunchtime, him and Dallas end up having a fist fight about Leanne for some reason. Talking of violence, Toby got off his murder charge, and also got off ‘going to his own party’ duty.
As if that wasn’t bleak enough, Santa was spotted in scrubs doing filing at the Shortland Street reception. Guess we all got to pay the bills somehow. I hear he is great with patients who suffer from low elf-esteem. My friend Fridge told me that one.
The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.