It was the surprise hit of March 2017, and now Rent Week is back, baby. And we want your stories.
Many of us live in homes that we could never afford. And yet they’re not even nice to live in. What a conundrum. But the Rent Life doesn’t have to be a greasy carousel, carrying our listless bodies through mould, Rug Doctor, and “admin fees” before finally arriving at an overdue death.
There are good things in a renter’s life too. Sometimes that good thing is a fellow renter. And so, it is with great power and great responsibility that we open nominations for FLATMATE OF THE YEAR 2018. Is your flatmate an angel incarnate sent to earth for the sole purpose of brightening the lives of you and your neighbours? Have you ever considered changing your last name to that of your flatmate just to feel closer to the best thing in your life? Send us a love letter detailing why your flatmate deserves this crown. In entering, you may accidentally out yourself as a bad flatmate but that’s a sacrifice you should be willing to make for your divine house buddy.
NOTE: Flatmates who clean up after themselves are good. Flatmates who don’t steal your shit are great. Flatmates who lend you their car once a year are excellent. But they’re not FLATMATE OF THE YEAR 2018 material. That’s just being a decent human being.
We want acts of heroism, superiority among us regular losers, people who you’d pay to live with they’re that good. We want your FLATMATE OF THE YEAR 2018.
And also: not every landlord is a Lovecraftian horror sustained only by the wages and anxiety-sweat of young professionals and single parents. Some might even qualify as Real Human Beings. But few will make the cut as LANDLORD OF THE YEAR 2018. Though we may be whipped curs to whom the bare minimum is a blessed relief, we want to hear about the actual proper saints. Installing a dehumidifier will not do.
Of course, renting in this country is often tantamount to chewing razor blades. We want to hear about that too. Tyrannical landlords, criminal flatmates, houses that seem determined to put you in the dirt – send us your HORROR STORIES that we might compile them into a compendium of misery. Strength through solidarity.
Rent Week 2018 runs all next week on The Spinoff.
Email your nominations and horror stories to firstname.lastname@example.org with RENT WEEK in the subject line. Nominations close 3pm Friday March 2. The heroes named Flatmate and Landlord of the Year will be bestowed with a magnificent chicken-based prize courtesy of our friends at Nando’s.
This section is made possible by Simplicity, the online nonprofit KiwiSaver plan that only charges members what it costs, nothing more. Simplicity is New Zealand’s fastest growing KiwiSaver scheme, saving its 10,500 plus investors more than $3.5 million annually. Simplicity donates 15% of management revenue to charity and has no investments in tobacco, nuclear weapons or landmines. It takes two minutes to join.