Correct face.

The Bachelor AU, week 3: The Sunshine sets

Fifteen to 13. The Bachelor AU roars into week three, armed with a guitar, a hot air balloon and a Bali-based jewellery business. Miriam Moore recaps.

This week jumps straight into the first date. After feeling awkward about the group date, where Sophie was forced to do some foreign yoga moves, the Honey Badger decided it was time to get to know her more.

Sophie applies some product placement Blistex on her smackers before being taken on a fast boat that is also a floating magic carpet. Despite being forced into black Storm Trooper costumes, the date goes down a treat for this season’s self-confessed water baby.

Sophie and the bach talk about their learnings from past relationships, and Sophie realises she needs to be more open more quickly. This is because “time is of the essence”, as we are reminded three times in a row.  This acknowledgement results in the receiving of a rose and a big old smooch where the duo don’t even finish their wine. If this show could send me all the left-over smooch wine, that would be fantastic.

Back at the mansion, two of Nick’s siblings and his dad make a surprise visit where they get to meet the selection of women before choosing one to have a family dinner with at the bachpad.  Cass knows Nick’s brother, having spent time surfing with them both. Their past is alluded to once more.

Cat is asked by Nick’s sister Bernadette whether she is doing the show to promote her jewellery. She says a lot of girls have businesses and she’s just at that stage in her life, which does not answer the question at all. Considering we have heard more about her jewellery business in Bali than Cass’s past relationship with Nick, I’m just not sure what her intentions really are.

Anyway, here’s Wonderwall?

Blair overhears Romy telling Bernadette about Cass’s obsession with Nick, which results in a verbal brawl between Blair and Romy after Blair reports this hearsay to Cass. Blair yells, Romy snaps, Cat laughs and I just want my bach family to stop fighting.

Meanwhile, Brooke enjoys a pleasant dinner with Nick’s family after being the chosen one.  This was due to her shared family values. There’s nothing families love more than other people who have families too. This makes for her second visit to the bachpad and further entrenching of her frontrunner status.

At the cocktail party, a desperate Cass finally gets her time with Nick.  She exclaims it was “refreshening” to speak to his brother as there was finally someone who knew how she truly felt. Nick gives her a very mature response, essentially explaining the concept of the show, where he admits he cannot return the same feelings at this stage.  

Nick asks Cat to her face if she is here for her jewellery business. Cat, being outraged that Blair would spread rumours about Romy throwing Cass under the bus, now finds it unacceptable that she has been thrown under the bus. There are so many buses in this episode, and people need to start looking both ways before they cross the road.

Unfortunately, bogan Blair is sent packing, meaning Romy wins the family feud in this episode.

Toot toot chugga chugga big red heart

In episode six, Nick utilises the “get out of mansion free” card given to him by Rhiannon at the last cocktail party. He was so impressed she made it herself. Personally, I’d be more impressed at such a coincidental malfunction in a Monopoly game set, that such a card had been professionally manufactured.

He brings Rhiannon to a giant heart hot air balloon, where he jokes he stitched it up overnight. The big red heart sails over trees and fog, where the pair leisurely spot animals together. It’s pleasant, and the two get on well, but Nick acknowledges he needs the afternoon couch cuddle component of the date to see if they click as more than friends.

Rhiannon is asked what love means to her. Nerves get the better of her and she turns into a jibberish-blabbering mess. Any romantic connection appears to have been left in the sky, as she giggles her way through the rest of the date, ultimately losing the plot and asking for a kiss. Nick declines but gives her a rose as he thinks there is more to know about Rhiannon.

Riri breaks the fourth wall, asking if the date is done. Then she is caught chasing after the producer, crying, and explaining why she asked for a kiss. You can’t help but feel sorry for her as she seems like a very sweet person, who simply forgot Diana Ross and The Supremes’ number one rule: You can’t hurry love.  

Vanessa Sunshine, unbeknownst of what is to come

Back at the mansion, Vanessa Sunshine is criticised for not looking excited to be on the group date card. She defends herself that she doesn’t squeal like an idiot when she gets a date. For the date, Vanessa, along with Romy, Alisha, Shannon, Cass and Britt, head into “Paradise” (a farm) to go camping.

Host Osher informs them of the plot twist, that the rose ceremony will take place at the end of the sleepover, and one of the six will be eliminated. Romy “froths” camping and has no worries. Despite being in heels, Vanessa Sunshine impresses everyone with her outdoor flair by being the first to erect her swag, and grilling some yummy burgers.  

The best date ever, according to one lady who may not have had many dates

A sneaky Romy climbs into Nick’s swag in the middle of the night, causing heartbreak to Cass. Romy giggles a loud giggle to ensure all the others hear. Come daybreak, Cass feels better after scoring a private date with Nick, where she feels slightly more fulfilled by his attention. She sits on a swing and holds his hand, exclaiming this exchange was the best date in her life. I went glow-in-the-dark mini golfing once, which I reckon trumps that, but each to their own.

Romy and Vanessa’s feud is brought to Nick’s attention by Romy throwing Vanessa under another bus, after stating she hates throwing people under the bus. She lets him know Vanessa doesn’t find him attractive.  Vanessa is upfront about this with Nick, and ultimately gets the boot, meaning Romy wins again. When it’s time to say goodbyes, there’s a long, awkward pause as Vanessa Sunshine leaves with a simple “whatever”, and Romy states that Vanessa sucks the sunshine out of her life. It’s brilliant, and I am going to miss Vanessa.


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