Tara Ward counts down the top ten moments from ‘Freedom & Whiskey’, the fifth episode of Outlander season three. Contains major spoilers, obviously.
Sing me a song of a lass that is gone and then rocks on up again, totes out of the blue, wearing a strange coat and humming the Batman theme song. Everyone join in, because that’s the merry tune that describes how Claire Randall grapevined her way back into eighteenth century Scotland and put the shits right up Jamie Fraser.
Outlander fans will remember one thing about ‘Freedom and Whisky’: after a wait longer than the Dunbonnet’s cave hair, Jamie and Claire were finally together in the same time zone. It happened in the last five minutes of the episode, but they were the finest five minutes of Outlander since Frank jumped on the bed at Mrs Baird’s B&B.
Good times, Frank. Good times.
The reunion was all Roger’s doing. Bless the wee lamb for discovering Jamie was alive and for turtle-necking his way into our hearts and minds. While Claire agonised about time travelling again, I shipped Claire and Roger so hard I was practically at sea. Claire could do with some beardy fun, imo, and Roger has a twinkle in his eye that suggests there’s more beneath his blazer than just a sensible singlet.
But as the ancient Gaelic saying goes, “once you go red, you can never go beard”. (It’s true, Google it). After a festive game of knucklebones with BFF Joe and an emotional farewell with Bree, Claire realised she was possessed by the ginger spirit. She whipped up a showerproof poncho, banished her grey hairs, and took a taxi through the stones quicker than you could say “this skeleton will be important later in the season FYI”.
Suddenly it was Edinburgh, 1766. Claire wept, Jesus wept, pretty sure Batman was bawling in sweet anticipation. The music soared, my heart kerthumped and I rocked back and forth like a dinghy without its ballast. I was lost in a sea of love, and as Claire walked down the Royal Mile I thought of all the bad hair, cave sex and tea bags we endured to get here.
It was all worth it, even that whole Dunbonnet shitstorm. Claire was back in the past, about to unleash a crapload of drama and chaos, and everything was right with the world.
We’re about to witness the blessed reunion of two hot potatoes who can now be mashed together forever and ever Amen. Joy to the world, deck the halls and swaddle yourself in tartan tinsel, as we celebrate the top ten moments of ‘Freedom and Whiskey’.
1) Roger releases Jamie from history’s dusty clutches
Give the bloke a crown and a shiny stick, because Roger is a king among men. He was a historian dog digging for Jamie Fraser’s bone, and the clever wee sausage left no piece of plagiarised poetry unread to discover Jamie was alive in 1765, working as a printer in Edinburgh under the alias Alexander Malcolm.
Blow me down and cover me in heather, what other snazzy tricks is Roger hiding beneath that magnificent facial hair? Answers on the back of an envelope, please.
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2) Claire is the caped crusader
I can’t explain the Batman soundtrack but otherwise, this was the best sewing montage I’ve seen in my LIFE.
3) Roger in a turtleneck watching daytime TV
Simple pleasures are often the best.
4) Claire says goodbye to Brianna
She’ll miss seeing Bree get married, something about grandchildren she’ll never hold, blah blah blah JUST GET IN THE TAXI before Jamie’s ink dries up or he gets stuck in his printing press or God forbid, his hair falls out.
5) Bree takes at least sixty seconds to get over Claire’s departure
“I’ll never see Mom again, this is terrible, how will I go – oh look, cream pie.”
6) Claire saw the sign, she saw the si-ee-i-ee-i-eign
It opened up her mind and she is happy now. Look, this is when it starts getting good and if I can’t quote Ace of Base now then WHEN CAN I?
7) Claire hears Jamie’s voice
Sweet baby cheeses, this is really happening
8) Claire tells Jamie she’s back for a second serving of ginger kisses
I think I’m having a heart attack
9) Jamie realises it’s old mate Claire Beauchamp
Wait until Claire tells you about the time baby Bree rolled over by herself JAMIE IT WAS INCREDIBLE
10) Jamie faints because ALL THE FEELS
Frack me, we are all shook to the core. See you in a fortnight.
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