Just when you thought The Block NZ had thrown everything at us, Mark Richardson uttered the immortal words: “Welcome to Sheep World”. Tara Ward recaps another bewildering week on The Block NZ.
It wasn’t Country Calendar, it wasn’t The Dog Show, it wasn’t even NZ Farmer of the Flipping Year. It was week ten of The Block NZ, and I could barely believe my weary old eyes. Sheep mustering, on our favourite New Zealand renovation reality show? Someone build a tiny stock pen out of matchsticks and lock me away forever because this was some unexpected livestock-related content that went beyond my wildest dreams.
“Great prize, great environment, great sheep,” said Em, in what I hope will become The Block NZ’s tagline for 2019.
It was Entrance, Stairs and Powder Room Week, but let’s not pretend we’re here for the renovation. We’re here for the challenge that left dismembered mannequins scattered throughout Hobsonville Point. We’re here for Amy dobbing Agni in for unsafe work practices, and for Chlo, Em and Claire’s contest over who had the longest armpit hair. Hair ye, hair ye, as nuts were flung at ladders, houses were plagued by mice, and losing teams kept winning prizes.
Best of all, high on a hill stood a lonely cricketer, ordering a gaggle of exhausted reality TV contestants to herd sheep into a pen, all in the name of winning $100,000.
We’re sprinting towards the end of The Block NZ like a frustrated ewe trying to escape four grown adults dressed as dogs. Let’s throw ye olde nuts at the power ranking ladder and see where they land.
1) Ben and Tom
Ben’s terrarium could tell a thousand stories, if only it wasn’t dead. Ben and Tom slayed the competition with their sleek and stylish kitchen/dining room, and it seems they’ve had a master plan all along. There’s a void in their dining room and there’s a void in my heart where that terrarium should be. Either way, Tom and Ben just kitchen-ed their way into contention.
2) Stu and Amy
Only Amy and Stu could win a challenge by coming third. They’re as canny as the mouse in Chlo and Em’s bathroom, and not even a visit from the ghosts of The Block NZ past could put them off their game. After we watched Emmett help Amy choose a shelf for her toilet, I think the evidence is clear: there are only two more weeks of watching people shop for toilet shelves before this sweet, sweet dream is over.
3) Claire and Agni
These two have more +1s, -1s and Undo cards than Ben has dead terrariums. But what good is are they to Claire and Agni if the Wolf clamps their car and they’re banned from driving for breaking the rules? Hey ho, when life offers you lemons, you throw your nuts at a ladder and suddenly you’re controlling the entire game.
4) Chlo and Em
Life was literally the pits for Chlo and Em this week, who were terrorised by a mouse in the greatest rodent reality TV moment since Jamie and Sally Ridge’s near-death experience in The Ridges. Was the mouse attracted to the aromas of “mince and cheese” seeping out of Em’s buildery armpits? Hard to know, but in the wise words of Mark Richardson, “well played, Siresses”.
Subscribe to The Bulletin to get all the day’s key news stories in five minutes – delivered every weekday at 7.30am.