We’ve assembled some Valentine’s gift inspiration from the only thing you can rely on in this cruel life: the television.
Forgot about Valentine’s Day? Short on time and money to pull off the romantic gesture of your dreams? Never fear, for the path to hell is paved with good intentions and the longest running TV shows always eventually have a Valentine’s Day episode that you can draw inspiration from. Whether you are loved up or seeking hot singles in your area, please enjoy this list of good to terrible suggestions inspired by TV.
Have a George Constanza photoshoot
Take some advice from the Seinfeld dudes and get your mate to help you take some saucy snaps for your significant other and/or Tinder profile. If you have a camera phone, a pair of white underpants, a curtain and a distinct lack of shame, go for your life. Just make sure it’s not synced to the family ipad.
Throw a Galentine’s Party
It’s a day late, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still organise a wild, Parks and Recreation-inspired Galentine’s event with your nearest and dearest. The ingenious vision of feminist hero Leslie Knope, Galentine’s Day falls on February 13th and is a chance to celebrate the love between friendly old mates over waffles and whatever else brings the Galentine’s joy.
Make this iconic card from The Simpsons
Forgot to make a card? Nothing a couple of felt tips and a piece of A4 can’t fix.
Say it with a tattoo
Take a leaf out of Blindspot’s book and record your true feelings for all of eternity on the most romantic organ of all: skin. Get inked with a treasure map leading to a hidden box of discount Cadbury Favourites and you can both enjoy them on the way to the tattoo removal clinic. Swoon.
Make some Valentine’s magic a la Modern Family
Whether you partner likes magic or not, nothing says true love like a well-executed magic trick. No need to go crazy with it, a disappearing hanky will do. Or even that trick where it looks like your thumb is being cut off. A finger over the thumb knuckle, a splash of showmanship, and ta da, you’re on your way to boomtown.
Don’t do what The AM Show tells you
With The AM Show launching yesterday, the reckons came thick and fast about what was and wasn’t appropriate for a Valentine’s gift. “YOU CAN’T BUY A WOMAN SOAP” barked Duncan Garner, whilst Amanda Gillies insisted that a KFC bouquet is a terrible Valentine’s gift. That is simply not true.
Forget Valentine’s altogether
Make like Liz Lemon in 30 Rock and celebrate Anna Howard Shaw day. If you’re a single lady and totally not bitter about it, spend February 14th celebrating the birthday of Anna Howard Shaw, leader of the Women’s Suffrage movement in America and single woman. Then post a selfie, caption it ‘My Valentine’ and go to bed early because really it’s just a Tuesday.
Get personal with a personality test
Short on cash but want to spend some quality time getting to know your lover? Head down to the newly opened Scientology centre, which is not like The Path at all, for a free personality test. There are fun riddles to solve in the IQ test and you’ll get to learn so much about each other, like whether or not you are ‘dangerously withdrawn’ or ‘manic’. They’ll give you free food too if you ask.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Only go if you truly have no money so they can’t somehow take any from you.
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