After much heated debate in the Spinoff television department, we present this list of local TV moments that made 2016 the weird and wonderful mess that it was.
Mark Richardson apologises to Brendon McCullum on The Crowd Goes Wild
The funniest four minutes of New Zealand television all year. It took fifteen long years but former Black Caps opener Mark Richardson finally offered an apology of sorts for running out Brendon McCullum on his ODI debut. The slow pace with which Rigor apologised perfectly matched the manner in which he scored his runs. We’ll miss his incredibly grinchy presence on The Crowd Goes Wild next year. / Madeleine Chapman
Naz vs The World
After a disastrous second season of The Bachelor NZ, Naz came in like a wrecking ball to ‘The Women Tell All’ live show. She screamed at the audience, told Kate to stop talking shit and massaged Jordan’s thigh in a way that was definitely too hot for TV. Time passed and she stayed mad, storming out of a Story interview days before her big boxing match. There’s no way the queen of the hit list wasn’t making this list. / Alex Casey
The Housewives incident on the boat
Just imagine how much better the year would have been if the Real Housewives of Auckland had never gone to Port bloody Douglas and never got on that bloody big boat and Julia Sloane hadn’t said that bloody racist slur. Instead, we could have had more excellent Champagne Lady content like this scene where she talks to her pet gull via an animal communicator on Skype. / Calum Henderson
— Bravo New Zealand (@BravoNewZealand) August 22, 2016
Aaradhna at the VNZMAs
A much-needed antidote to the disaster that was last year’s nightmarish haka live cross at the VNZMAs, Aaradhna explained why she wouldn’t be accepting her ‘Urban’ Tui on live TV for the whole music industry – and all of New Zealand to see. “I feel like if you’re putting a singer next to a hip-hop artist, it’s not fair. I’m a singer, I’m not a rapper, I’m not a hip-hop artist. It feels like I’ve been placed in the category of brown people. That’s what it feels like.” / AC
Ferndale and Summer Bay collide
A dream come true. Ray Meagher was in New Zealand doing promo for the stage production of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert; Michael Galvin had just got back from holiday and had a deep glowing suntan. Alf Stewart and Chris Warner! We arranged to get them in the same place at the same time, they were good sports about it, and the result was this lovely silly video. / CH
The ultimate reunion on All Talk With Anika Moa
All Talk With Anika Moa was a late night joy to behold, the host giggling, burping and swearing away next to the likes of Stan Walker, The Champagne Lady and Danielle Cormack. The finale featured this particularly special moment, bringing Temuera Morrison and Rena Owen together on that turquoise couch to re-enact the Once Were Warriors ‘Here is my Heart’ anthem. / AC
Hilary Barry generally rocked hard
Whether it was waiting until Weldon’s resignation to crack open the champagne and a huge grin, or buying about 100 million Whoppers, Hilz continued to rock in 2K16. The day after the “tittygate” fiasco, she calmly negged Paul Henry to the ends of the earth. “Can I just say how lovely it is for me to work with three such kind, caring men, so respectful of women,” she said, “spare a thought for other women who are turning up on other breakfast shows this morning who don’t get to work with guys like you.” / AC
Someone nearly died on Our First Home (again)
For the second year in a row a contestant on TVNZ1’s reality reno franchise Our First Home almost ended up stripping wallpaper for all eternity in the big do-up in the sky. While not quite as intense as last year’s lady who fell off a wheelbarrow obstacle course and appeared for a terrifying few seconds to be dead, this year’s lady who got a pane of broken glass lodged in her chest was probably in the more perilous life-or-death situation, mere millimetres from rupturing a major artery. Both were fine in the end, but it does almost feel like competitive house renovations might not be that good of an idea. / CH
Hosking wrecks the Chewbacca mask forever
Hosking swept his cloak of evil all over this previously joyous meme and sucked the life out of it like a death eater. With the mask atop his face, he let out a guttural screech that was almost enough to bring Peter Cushing back from the dead. It was awful, and shall remain burned into the eyes and ears of New Zealanders for years to come. / AC
… and Miriama Kamo wrecks Hosking
Hosking was also shown the door this year by Marae host Miriama Kamo after his racist rant following a Seven Sharp story about Andrew Judd. “I have lived with casual and often deliberate racism my entire life. When we use a primetime platform to dismiss and ignore racism in our community, in my view, that’s unacceptable.” Maybe if you put the Chewbacca mask on, Mike, nobody will see you crying. / AC
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The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.