TelevisionMade possible by

Who will host Survivor New Zealand?

Today TVNZ announced that Survivor New Zealand will be coming to TV2 this year, with potential applicants encouraged to apply here. But which NZ TV legend will host it? Alex Casey and Calum Henderson see who the cap fits. 

Matty McLean

mattysurvivor

He’s already proven his chops as a Survivor superfan right here on the bloody Spinoff, so why wouldn’t Matty McLean be the perfect choice to slap on some boardies and head to tribal council? Plus, when two survivors inevitably fall in love over a small bowl of rice, he can marry them right there on the island and they can be carried straight into the ocean on a marital gurney made of crabs. / AC

Suzanne Paul

supaul

Her screen time has reduced dramatically since the demise of Good Morning, so this would represent a huge opportunity for Suzanne Paul to put her range of products back in front of the TV audience. Everything could be incorporated in one way or another – she could use a Bambillo to smother the ceremonial flames, or maybe carry things of Natural Glow as immunity idols. / CH

Dominic Bowden

dombowdensurvivor

No time-wasting, speculative, meaningless list about potential reality hosts would be complete without the big DB. He has the same ageless, golden visage of proper Survivor host Jeff Probst, and looks simply breathtaking in khaki green. When the going gets tough towards the end, his dramatic pauses during tribal council could actually cause the exhausted competitors to collapse and die. Aka ratings smash. / AC

Jenny May Coffin

jennymaysurvivor

She’s athletic, great at conducting herself on-camera and can rock a pair of jandals with the best of them. Job done. / AC

Nigel Latta

nigesurvivor

Survivor stands to be the most intensely psychological reality show ever made in New Zealand – even more so than The Block Villa Wars – so who better to host proceedings than our own celebrity psychologist? Tribal council would be more like tribal counsel with Latta at the helm solving everybody’s issues. A win-win. / CH

Robyn Schreuder

She’s already survived what our panel of experts described as the third finest television moment of last year, so there’s no reason that Robyn Schreuder from Our First Home couldn’t endure the rough and ready living that hosting Survivor brings. The tribe challenges yield plenty of ramps for her to tumble off dramatically, and she has the perfect reaction for encountering a deadly island snake: just play dead. / AC

Jason Gunn (and Thingee?)

thingeesurvivor

He has the rare ability to remain positive in the face of adversity – just look at the way he handled his broken back(!) earlier this year. Jase The Ace and Thingee would bring some much-needed levity and light-hearted banter to the tribal council. / CH

Lana Coc-Kroft

lana

New Zealand’s original and best reality TV survivor literally almost died from a coral cut while filming Celebrity Treasure Island in Fiji in 2004. She spent nine days in a coma with toxic shock syndrome, which makes Survivor look like a walk in the park. She could definitely use this experience to shame any wussy or self-pitying contestants. / CH

 

Goran Paladin

goransurvivor

The Our First Home host’s impressively-tattooed guns would look great in a short-sleeved khaki Survivor host’s shirt, and he has some of the most consistent stubble we’ve ever seen on a New Zealand TV host. As long as he can survive the West Auckland do-up housing market, Goran Paladin has to be a front-runner to become the Kiwi Jeff Probst. / CH

Wendy Cooper

wendysurvivor

She couldn’t quite survive a brain hemorrhage, but the resurrected character of Wendy Cooper could be just the kind of Seinfeldvision-style cross-promoting the channel needs. Wendy can also make a mean chickpea curry, which sounds like good non-perishable island grub. Just keep her away from any boats and jetties. / AC


Interested in entering Survivor New Zealand yourself? Click here to apply

This content, like all television coverage we do at The Spinoff, is brought to you thanks to the excellent folk at Lightbox. Do us and yourself a favour by clicking here to start a FREE 30 day trial of this truly wonderful service.

The Spinoff Longform Fund is dedicated to facilitating investigative journalism. Our focus is on supporting in-depth reporting on important New Zealand stories. Your donation will help us sustain this most resource-intensive form of journalism, ensuring that the most complex and important stories still get told.