The comedian tells FIRST about her ‘bad bitch’ grandma, looks back on a 2000s fashion nightmare and confesses to the perfect crime.

First hobby

“My first hobby was forced on me and it was tennis. I played tennis for 12 years. I went up to nationals and everything. And then my tits got too big – I was smacking myself in the face, knocking myself out.”

First conscious fashion decision

“Do you remember when boob tubes were belts, so you’d wear your jeans and you’d get the boob tube, but then you’d put it down just above your Fupa to [try and] ‘hide it’? But it accentuated it!”

First big news event you remember

“Probably Paul Holmes calling Kofi Annan a ‘cheeky darkie’. That moment, I think for sure changed my perception of who I was at heart, because that word started to transcend into my life. Now I was being called it, my family members being called it. So it was a defining moment for me as a person of colour in this country. It was the first time I realised I don’t think I’m a Kiwi kid, they’re not going to see me as a Weetbix kid, unfortunately. It’s a little bit different for me.”

First idol

“For sure my grandma. She’s been a single mother with nothing, she worked in Lautoka markets on the street and sat on a brick and sold eggplant on the street. And now I’m here. She did some bad bitch behaviour – some stuff I can’t say on camera – but she did some bad bitch behaviour.”

First love

It was Valentine’s Day and my crush’s birthday was on Valentine’s Day as well – he didn’t know he was my crush, no one knew. I bought a Valentine’s Day card, wrote this beautiful thing, and then I wrote my name at the bottom of it and just before I put it in his locker, I ripped out my name. I ripped it out, and then I put it back in his locker. I put it in his locker and I ran away. Then they shared the card around. So everybody’s reading this card and they’re like, ‘So corny, oh my god, who would do this?’ And I was like, ‘Who would do this? Loser!’

They line up all the girls and they’re like ‘Hey, write down your name so we can analyse the writing to figure out who this is. Who is this crazy person?’ But what I did is I wrote with the bad hand and everything. So no one ever figured out who it was. Now, several years later, it was me. It was me.”