In a week dominated by Sally Ridge-inspired arts & craft challenges, Calum Henderson assesses the hopes and dreams of the increasingly sick, tired and furious Block NZ contestants.
1. (Last Week: 1) Brooke & Mitch – House 4
The Brooke and Mitch juggernaut rolled on through Living Room Week. The pair’s Heartland conservatism and attention to detail produced their second winning room on the trot, and they show no signs of slowing down at the midpoint of Master Bedroom and Ensuite Bathroom Week.
In this week’s big challenge they re-purposed my three biggest childhood hobbies – stamp collecting, old cricket annuals and watching videos – into a wonderfully evocative shelving unit, but were robbed by guest judges and versatile Mediaworks assets Jono and Ben.
2. (LW: 2) Cat & Jeremy – House 3
Cat and Jeremy remain Brooke and Mitch’s only realistic competition. They offer a sort of relatably quirky Pinterest counterpoint to the Cantabrians’ staid NZ Home & Garden sensibilities.
Despite initially being cast as the jokers of The Block, they have emerged as the smartest couple – after the dickhead judge slammed their living room, this week they’ve gone and plagiarised a bedroom design from his own website.
Cat and Jeremy are the true people’s champions, all the way down to their incredibly cool and grumpy tiler.
3. (LW: 4) Jamie & Hayden – House 1
Jamie and Hayden have had a grim week. Hayden got struck down with the dreaded manflu, got so mangry about it that he manbroke a window and had to chill out with some mansewing. (Coincidentally this is the single most artful shot in The Block history).
A weirdly sinister teaser for the coming weeks seemed to hint that there was something more serious going on with Hayden. While it was sort of fun when they kept us guessing what House 4’s ‘secret’ was, speculating over what’s wrong with Hayden – presumably a terminal illness, but which one? – feels a little macabre.
Their singing skull won them $5000 from Jono and Ben, but they’re so deep in debt that it may not even make a splash. And with their heroic Scottish builder Marty due for deportation in a couple of weeks, it’s hard to see Jamie and Hayden having a triumphant run down the home stretch.
4. (LW: 3) Sarah & Minanne – House 2
Sarah and Minanne have lost the plot. After showing faint signs of hope after bathroom week the sisters have spiralled into an intense cycle of passive aggression and petty infighting. Is there a more disdainful gesture than buying your tradies a round of coffees from Pita Pit?
Their living room was dire, unfinished, and very generously judged compared to their first week guest bedroom. This week’s creative challenges – which they needed to, and should have, excelled at – were both disasters.
This weird shot of Minanne just reminded me of the time I accidentally saw photos of the dead bodies in a David Bain book and had trouble sleeping for months. I’m worried about them.
The Block NZ airs TV3 Sundays at 7pm, and Mon-Thurs 7.30pm
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