It’s Saturday and all of a sudden people have realised that Halloween falls on a Monday this year. Nobody throws a party on a Monday, so now you need a kick-ass costume for tonight. Luckily, Madeleine Chapman is here to help.
It’s hard to tell what’s worse: being the only one at the party with a costume, or being the only one at the party without a costume. Thankfully, there are pop TV characters that float seamlessly between the two.
Elliot – Mr Robot
This is the gift voucher of costumes. It’s fast, versatile, and wouldn’t look weird if you wore it on another day besides Halloween. All that’s required is a black zip-up hoodie with the hood pulled up. Pants are optional since 95% of the shots in the show are from the waist up. Everyone has a black hoodie so this costume is free. If you don’t have one, borrow a friend’s. If you don’t have any friends, just wear mine.
Special feature: Make your costume more believable by performing small cyber hacks on your friends. When your friend isn’t looking, go on their phone and write ‘lyk 4 a lyk’ as their Facebook status. Whoa, hacked.
Leslie Knope – Parks and Recreation
This one might sound harmless but a woman in a strong pantsuit will absolutely terrify every man at the party, and isn’t that what Halloween is all about? If you don’t own a pantsuit, it’ll be a fun night dressing up in someone else’s. And if you do, what’s easier than getting drunk in your work clothes?
Special feature: Alternate between saying you’re Leslie Knope and Hillary Clinton. Then watch as political discussion kills the party atmosphere.
Bob – Bob the Builder
Toy hardhat, Warehouse flannel, broken watch, done deal. It’s a Kiwi classic. If you’re embarrassed of dressing up as a kids’ TV character, just say you’re a generic builder. Or take a real screwdriver and actually fix something. Because we are in the age of new, hot Bob, only studs can really pull this off.
Special feature: Slip into character with endless DIY puns. Start by referring to regular human people as ‘studs’.
Wallace – Wallace and Gromit
I know it’s a Saturday but if you’re desperate, head back into work and grab a vest from the accounts department. Pair it with your ‘special occasion’ red tie and blow people’s minds as Wallace. I wouldn’t recommend shaving your head to complete the look, but it would really complete the look.
Special feature: If you have dog, take him to the party. People might be confused as to why he’s there, but it’s a dog so they’ll love it anyway.
Jerry Seinfeld – Seinfeld
Seinfeld might well have aired in the ’90s but Jerry Seinfeld’s dress sense will never truly go out of style. Somehow you can actually wear whatever you want to dress as Seinfeld. As long as it looks like something a hipster Dad would wear, it’ll pass. Alternatively, just wear a loud shirt and say you’re Kramer.
Special feature: Begin each sentence with “Here’s something I noticed…” so everyone knows you’re either dressed as a stand up comedian or extremely annoying.
Anyone – Transparent
Don’t do it. Just don’t do it.
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