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For Valentine’s day – TV’s most screwed up couples

It’s worth remembering that not everything is rose petals on the floor and rosé in a hotel room. Relationships need work and as the following on screen relationships show, sharing your life with someone can be more like living inside a concrete mixer made of resentment and loathing. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Curb Your Enthusiasm – Susie & Jeff

Susie Greene isn’t so much a person as a wind turbine made of swears. Her relationship with her husband, Jeff, appears to be a string of Larry David instigated mishaps and screw-ups capped with an often justified berating worthy of Malcom Tucker. All Jeff can do is face it impassively and push the feelings down deep inside.

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Parks & Recreation – Leslie & Mark

Mark Brendanawicz and Leslie Knope are perhaps the worst matched “will they, won’t they” pair in TV. For a start Knope is delusional, mistaking a one night stand for a deep seated connection. Brendanawicz fends her off (he’s more interested in Leslie’s bestie Ann), only to get drunk and make the moves on her before falling into a pit. Dick move, Brendanawicz.

 

 

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Seinfeld – Frank & Estelle

Possibly the most realistic pairing in the list, the lives of the two senior Constanzas revolve around their layabout son, George. Most of that life is spent arguing about what George wants or what’s best for him. That he’s a middle-aged man seems to have flown past them. The arguments themselves are petty, small, spiteful and quite unhinged.

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The Sarah Silverman Program – Sarah & Black God

This is a relationship that has so many levels it needs a lift installed. Basically Sarah poos her pants while trying to fart for her friends and the resulting song exploring her guilt is enough for God to get involved. “Are you God’s black friend?” asks Sarah. God ignores that and rewinds time so Sarah can avoid shitting her pants. They then sleep together and God calls her a monkey. Chew on that for a bit.

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