Gráinne Patterson

Guest writer

Gráinne is an Irish Pākehā writer and essayist living in Te Whanganui a Tara. Her work explores family dynamics and how they have shaped her relentless search for ways to be a well-adjusted adult human. She holds a masters in creative nonfiction from the IIML.

Image: Tina Tiller

Think you’re a people-pleaser? Name three people you’ve pleased

We're increasingly aware of the toll people-pleasing takes on the person doing it. But it's hard on everyone around them, too.

By Gráinne Patterson | 16th October, 2024

Image: Tina Tiller

How we fight: Lessons from the Love Lab

How are we supposed to know how to 'do' conflict with people we care about? Has a single one of us been taught a healthy way to do it?

By Gráinne Patterson | 3rd July, 2024

Image by Tina Tiller

Marriage, civil union or de facto: In 2024, which one should you choose?

We spoke to three couples in each type of relationship about why they made the choice they did.

By Gráinne Patterson | 21st June, 2024

IFS is an evidence-based model of psychotherapy invented in the 1980s by therapist Richard C. Schwartz. (Image: Tina Tiller)

With Internal Family Systems therapy, it’s never too late to have a happy childhood

A look inside the astronomic rise of IFS therapy, from someone who has received it.

By Gráinne Patterson | 14th June, 2024

The idea that asking someone if they’re feeling suicidal will “put the idea in their head” is a common misconception. (Image: Tina Tiller)

It’s OK to ask a loved one if they’re feeling suicidal

In fact, it’s a critical first step to helping them.

By Gráinne Patterson | 17th May, 2024

When you cry, the blur of your tears makes him look exactly like your dad, which makes you cry more. (Image: Tina Tiller)

Tips and tricks for when your therapist looks like your dad

Tip one: let yourself be nurtured by this big old man. Tip two: don't ask him to adopt you.

By Gráinne Patterson | 4th May, 2024

“I promise that I love you in this precise moment and I will reevaluate that love constantly based on your behaviour towards me.” (Images by Tina Tiller)

Dreaming of my not-wedding day

What does a forever relationship look like when you don't believe in marriage? And how do you celebrate it?

By Gráinne Patterson | 26th April, 2024