To celebrate International Hobbit Day on September 22 (Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ birthdays), we’ve decided who of all the furry-footed creatures is best.

Concerning Hobbits and Spinoff rankings, it really feels like there is not a lot left to be said or ranked. Well, on International Hobbit Day, boy do I have news for you on both fronts.

First, a little background on Hobbit-mania. Seventy-four years ago, The Hobbit was released to critical literary acclaim and introduced the world to the lovable creatures and their cosy ways. In 1973, Tolkien boarded his fancy swan ship to Valinor, just like Bilbo at the end of The Return of the King (he died). After his passing, he left a bunch of notes for his son Christopher to sort out… turns out there’s not a whole lot more about Hobbits in there (sorry Jeff Bezos).

Fast forward to now, or at least a decade ago: Peter Jackson released the final film of his return-to-Middle-Earth Hobbit trilogy, all with titles too long to be bothered typing. While PJ had succeeded in turning a 300-ish page children’s novel, simply called The Hobbit, into three films with much longer titles and even longer runtimes, many asked, at what cost? Was Hobbit-mania done for? How would we recover as a nation when our very identity was now so entwined with Middle Earth and those lovable folks with hairy feet? Was the world done with Hobbits?

Unfortunately for most, and to the delight of some, the answer is definitely no. Hobbit-mania is at an all-time high and capitalism is definitely capitalising on it. Some Hobbit fans are arguing over whether or not those Harfoots from Amazon’s Rings of Power, and the new Desert of Rhûn variants introduced in the second season, are even hobbits anyway. Other fans are excited that PJ has announced yet another return to Middle Earth film with The Hunt for Gollum (no word yet on whether this will be another trilogy or if any Hobbits are to be featured in any capacity). Others are talking about the countless video game adaptations, whose success, or flop, have the power to make or break gaming studios.

Anyway, without further ado, here are almost all of the Hobbits in the Tolkienverse, ranked from worst to best:

40. All the Hobbits who sided with Sharkey

Starting off at the most obvious point here: all the Hobbits who aided Sharkey in his takeover of the Shire, leading the core four of Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin to lead an army of Hobbits to reclaim the Shire, are the worst Hobbits there are. The Scouring of the Shire would ultimately see Wormtongue literally stab Saruman in the back, then get set upon by a mob of angry Hobbits and slain.

Confused? I don’t blame you. This storyline was cut completely from Sir PJ’s films and, much like the Old Forest sequence, he had his reasons, with which I kind of agree. So, while you may not have seen it on screen, these book-only Hobbits are the worst Hobbits bar none.

39. The Shiriffs 

The Shiriffs are The Shire’s police who, by all accounts, are more like keepers of the peace. They do not appear in the films or video games but nevertheless, ACAB is ACAB, so these Hobbit cops get a low ranking from me.

38. Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit (1985) Soviet teleplay (a real thing)

This unsanctioned television play from Soviet-era Russia is truly wild. I cannot exactly recommend that you watch it, but you can find clips on YouTube if you’re curious. I have to side with the Tolkien estate on this one: sanctioned Hobbits only please.

37. The Hobbits in The Lord of the Rings: A Musical Tale (yes, also a real thing)

Now, this one is sanctioned by the Tolkien estate, but that doesn’t necessarily guarantee you a high rating. Personally, I do not need my Hobbits in musical form, therefore I have not seen this show and don’t intend to.

36. The Hobbits in the opera version (also a thing, currently in development)

I don’t need to see this to know that the Hobbits in this forthcoming Lord of the Rings opera (sanctioned by the Tolkien estate) deserve to be ranked a smidge higher than the musical versions. It’s just more camp to adapt Tolkien to opera than it is to adapt him to musical theatre. Apparently it’s being written to be performed over six evenings! I’m sorry but I didn’t make the rules, Susan Sontag did.

35. The Hobbits in the play version(s) (yes, also a thing)

Again, Tolkien estate-sanctioned does not a high rating equal. While I’d prefer a pure play adaptation of the Tolkienverse to a musical version, and there’s no way I’m sitting through six evenings of opera unless someone is paying me, I’d rather not see any stage adaptation of The Lord of the Rings, full stop. No more Tolkien theatre nonsense. Now, onto the fun ones.

34. The Hobbits in the animated films, The Lord of the Rings (1978) and The Return of the King (1980)

The Hobbits in these films are cutesy and very much a continuation of the style set by the 1977 Hobbit animated feature, but these films are all but forgotten in the wake of the live-action adaptations.

33. The Hobbits in The EA video games

Cast your mind back to the early 2000s when we were inundated with Lord of the Rings themed video games. The official tie-ins for the PJ films were numerous, the unofficial ones even more so. Which brings me to The Hobbit characters: some of the most annoying characters to play as in these games, hence the low rating. One of my favourite parts of the series is playing as the Witch King or the Mouth of Sauron to slay Frodo in The Lord of the Rings Conquest.

32. The happy family of Hobbits in The Tales of the Shire preview

Tales of the Shire is an upcoming game from Wētā Workshop that looks adorable, as does the family of Hobbits featured in the preview. Think Stardew Valley meets The Hobbit, made right here in Wellywood (as much as it pains me to refer to Miramar as that). They’ve recently announced that they are moving the release date back to get it right, which I fully endorse, but had to find a reason to rank some Hobbits lower than others.

31. Harfoots, Amazon’s The Rings of Power Season 1

The nomadic Hobbits introduced in the first season were what you’d expect from the ancestors of the Hobbits who would come to live and farm The Shire by the time of The Hobbit (1937). They were fine: the costumes and makeup were cool but, like everything in Season 1, their introduction was a build up that is paying off in Season 2, so they have a low place in this ranking.

30. Stoors, Amazon’s The Rings of Power Season 2

The Stoors were introduced relatively recently to The Rings of Power as a Fremen/Tatooine Hobbit variants. It remains to be seen if they can rise through the ranking to meet the standards set by some of our most favourite Hobbits, though if you keep scrolling you’ll find a Stoor you’re already very familiar with. I’m ranking them higher than the Harfoots because of the Dune/Star Wars vibes I got from their desert hideout.

29. Rosie Gamgee née Cotton

The barmaid from The Green Dragon who later goes on to become Sam’s wife… or his beard? Many have argued the toss on this, and I am gonna stick myself in the middle and say that Sam was a proud bi king and Rosie was a wonderful mother to his children. End of story.

28. Odo Proudfoot

You’ll remember this guy for correcting Bilbo’s pluralisation of his family name at Bilbo’s 111th Birthday party. Not much more to say; I have just always liked the way he yells “Proudfeet!”

27. Old Gaffer, The Lord of the Rings books and films

Sam’s Old Gaffer is his dad, and this hilarious dude from the The Lord of the Rings films. He’s even better in the books, but his deeds don’t quite warrant him a higher placement.

26. Bilbo Baggins, Haughty Variant, The Hobbit game (2003)

This game’s release had nothing to do with the PJ films and everything to do with capitalising on the initial waves of Hobbit mania. It’s apparently a bit of a cult classic among Tolkienite gamers. I, however, don’t like Bilbo’s haughty expression on the cover – it creeped me out on the shelf at Video Ezy when I was a kid, so it’s getting a low rating from me.

25. Bilbo Baggins, Old variant, The Hobbit films

Ian Holm returned to do a sort of passing of the torch sequence to Martin Freeman in the opening sequence of Sir PJ’s first Hobbit film, which was cool and all, but his wig is so different to the one used in the Lord of the Rings Films that I’m being forced to write about it now.

24. Lego Bilbo Baggins

Last year, we got the first of what looks to be a long line of Lord of the Rings themed ‘adult’ Lego sets (pricey, much-hyped sets of Lego capitalising on popular IP). It’s taken all my willpower to not purchase one, as I simply have nowhere to put it. The Rivendell set does, however, feature a Lego Bilbo in addition to Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin, and I’m not stopping you from buying one.

23. Video game Lego Bilbo Baggins

Controversially, I am going to rank the video game Lego Bilbo over actual Lego Bilbo because (a) the Lego games are really fun and Bilbo’s frenzied nature in the opening chapters of The Fellowship of the Ring (1954) translate perfectly to Lego’s trademark slapstick style, and (b) these Lego games do not gather dust in anywhere near as infuriating a way as ‘adult’ Lego sets do.

22. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins is Bilbo’s uppity relative whose claim to Bag End (Bilbo’s Hobbit hole) is all but denied when Bilbo adopts Frodo as his heir apparent. She turns up in the extended version film of The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), played by Elizabeth Moody as one of the “confounded relatives” Bilbo is so desperate to avoid. She turns up again in the final Hobbit film played by Erin Banks wearing a crazy hat. From Minnie Pearl to Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie when Kate married William, I love a lady in a crazy hat, but she is basically a low-stakes villain, so I won’t rank her too high.

21. Daily life Hobbits

In Peter Jackson’s films, we see countless hobbits running around in the background setting up parties, working the fields, tending market stalls, laying chess, drinking ale and all the other things that make Hobbit life worth living. I’m lumping them all together to save time, but next time you’re drinking a pint, charge your glass to the good citizens of Aotearoa who signed up to make movie magic happen. You don’t need to feel any kind of patriotism when you watch the daily-life Hobbits in the second season of Amazon’s The Rings of Power, unless you particularly love England, in which case you’re on your own.

20. Farmer Maggot

This is the Hobbit whose farm Merry and Pippin are raiding for food when they run into Frodo and Sam, fall off that cliff and then have to hide from the Nazgǔl. He’s also, according to the credits, the character played by Cameron Rhodes who delivers the line, “ain’t no Baggins ‘round here. They’re in Hobbiton, that way!” Excellent delivery, and my favourite Cameron Rhodes cameo until it was supplanted by his appearance in Real Housewives of Auckland as Louise Wallace’s acting coach.

19. Belladonna Took

Bilbo’s mum, and we honour the divine feminine even if Tolkien forgot to at times.

18. Bilbo Baggins (child version)

This child version of Bilbo from PJ’s Hobbit films is adorable, but has no lines, so I cannot offer him a higher placement.

17. Bilbo Baggins, Martin Freeman

There’s not much people agree on when it comes to Peter Jackson’s Hobbit films, but one thing we can all agree on is that Martin Freeman’s performance as Bilbo was outstanding, and rings very true to Tolkien’s original novel. Also, I was in the first Hobbit film, including the scene when they arrive in Rivendell.

It was a really long day, no I didn’t get to meet him, yes it was all very exciting, and I embarrassed myself in other ways. But the moral of the story is that he was a consummate professional the whole day, and it was quietly very exciting to see a pro like him in action, bringing one of my beloved childhood novels to life, green screen and all.

16. Hobbit children

I mean, of course, the gaggle of Hobbit children who appear dancing through fields and farms. Three people I went to school with played Hobbit children. I have a core memory of their mum coming in to show us the TV ad they appeared in, the excitement of the school caretaker wheeling in the massive TV stand complete with VHS, only for said mum to not be able to find the ad, which (I think) dad was supposed to have recorded. All we got was 25 minutes of static until the teacher had to politely wrap things up.

Hilarious stuff; great work from the many Hobbit children past, present and future. Also spare a thought for the person whose job it is to wrangle children dressed as Hobbits on a film or TV set.

15. Bilbo Baggins, Ian Holm original flavour, The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Ian Holm’s performance of Bilbo is to the Tolkienverse what Jay Z’s The Blueprint was for early 2000s rap.

14. Animated Bilbo, The Hobbit (1977) 

This 1977 version of the Hobbits is very much something your dad would have talked about when he got stoned. It’s a wild musical adaptation for children that comes complete with the creepiest elves we’ve ever seen in an adaptation, and a frog-like version of Gollum.

13. Déagol, The Return of the King (2003)

This is Gollum’s cousin, played by Thomas Robins in the prologue of The Return of the King (2003), with whom he’s fishing when they discover the ring. He claims it’s his birthday present as it’s his special day, Sméagol disagrees, strangles him to death (happy birthday!) claims the ring for himself and the rest, as they say, is history. RIP Déagol. Gone, but certainly not forgotten.

12. Old Bilbo (in Rivendell), The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Remember when Frodo gets to Rivendell with Liv Tyler, and Hugo Weaving saves him? Once he’s on the mend, he’s reunited with Bilbo, whose age has started catching up to him without the magic of the One Ring. He has a little shawl and is writing his book and gives Frodo a bunch of gifts.

11. Dark Bilbo (in Rivendell), The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

When Bilbo sees the ring again, he has a dark moment which is so camp I stan as hard now as I did in cinema in 2001. I wish we got a chance to play this dark version of Bilbo in a video game adaptation, but dreams are free, so onto the next one.

10. Whoever opened the Green Dragon, name unknown

The Green Dragon is the favoured pub of our core four Hobbits in the Lord of the Rings films. It’s also a real location you can visit now at the farm in Matamata where they filmed Hobbiton (even though the Green Dragon is technically located in Bywater). Moreover, it’s set to be a location in the upcoming Tales of the Shire game, so maybe we’ll get video game lore for this hobbit, who served their community so well by establishing such a fine watering hole.

9. Meriadoc Brandybuck AKA Merry, The Lord of the Rings books and films

Look, I love Merry, but he is the least charming of all the Hobbits. Dominic Monaghan’s performance adds a lot more dimension to this Miranda of our core four. That being said, our Miranda does help Miranda Otto defeat the Witch King, and that is camp, thus he reaches the top 10.

8. Frodo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings books and films

Look, Frodo’s great and all, but there comes a point when you’re re-reading the books that you know to fortify yourself for what’s to come, and what’s to come is the final Frodo chapters. Frodo without a doubt is the Carrie of the group, and no one wants to be Carrie, let alone read her books. As the ring’s powers take hold, and the Hobbits journey deeper into Mordor, the tone takes an even heavier and darker turn, which is a lot after you’ve just read the excitement of the Aragorn-Gimli-Legolas chapters, or the Merry and Pippin featuring Treebeard chapters. PJ’s films avoid this by showing the storylines concurrently, like Game of Thrones did, but before Game of Thrones was a series. He’s just an excellent filmmaker. 

This rating has nothing to do with Elijah Wood, sorry to this man.

7. Samwise Gamgee AKA Sam, The Lord of the Rings books and films 

It should come as no surprise that Samwise the Brave receives a high ranking. Aside from his love of cooking, gardening, and his old Gaffer, book Sam is given a much more OP gift than the Elven rope he receives from Cate Blanchett and her forest friends, allowing him to heal The Shire post-scouring. He also got to live out his days happily ever after, living a cosy, quiet Hobbit life, which is a thing to be celebrated. Sam is the Charlotte of the group, sorry Sam!

This rating has a little to do with Sean Astin’s performance in the films.

6. All the Hobbits drinking ale and smoking pipe weed

I will always celebrate a Hobbit’s appreciation for a quiet type of life. Is it any wonder we love them in this part of the world?

5. Elanor Brandyfoot AKA Ori & Poppy Proudfellow, Amazon’s The Rings of Power

Look, I’m going to be honest. I have been watching Rings of Power and I could not tell you these Hobbit’s names off the top of my head. But that is no fault of theirs – there is truly a lot going on in that Amazon series. That being said, Ori and Poppy, played by Markella Kavenagh and Megan Richards respectively, are doing amazing. They bring an undeniable halfling charm that first kindled the fires of Hobbit-mania all those years ago.

If you’re not watching the show and don’t really care about it, they’re basically threading a narrative that will see it made canon that Gandalf’s fondness of Hobbits is because of Ori and Poppy, thus proving that thing that my mother taught me growing up: girls do it first and don’t make a fuss about it.

4. Peregrin Took AKA Pippin 

The undeniable MVP of the fellowship is also the most hilarious, and apparently the most useless. His prime concern is what his next meal is, he smokes his pipe weed too quickly, and he loves picking wild mushrooms, so it’s not hard to see why the world loves him. A Took through and through, he’s like the Van West of the Fellowship, but he does go on to become one of the most decorated Hobbits in Middle Earth history, sticking around with Aragorn in Gondor, going on missions and levelling up. Undoubtedly the Samantha of the group, he also has the honour of being the tallest Hobbit on record (thanks Treebeard!).

This rating has everything to do with Billy Boyd’s performance, but also Pippin as read on page is still very, very funny.

3. Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit (1937) 

Bilbo in this book is the quintessential Hobbit that the world would come to know and love. This version is mother.

2. Bilbo Baggins, Prune variant, The Return of the King (2003)

Remember that reference I made to Bilbo jumping on the ship to Valinor? Okay, payoff is now. When the pruney old man variant of Bilbo turned up in the final moments of The Return of The King, my younger sister (11) and I (13) lost it. Ian Holmes performs his heart out in some outstanding prosthetic artistry from the makeup and effects team, complete with grey hairs sprouting out of his ears and the craziest eye bags in the world. His age has caught up with him, he has a memory like a sieve, and yet, when presented with the honour of boarding a ship to Valinor, Prune Bilbo casts his cane aside and exclaims, “I think I’m quite ready for another adventure.” I only hope to be sprightly when I’m so old, but I cannot say I hope the same for my under-eye bags. 

1. Gollum, FKA Sméagol, AKA Slinker, AKA Stinker (in basically all the media mentioned above, and more)

Gollum is undeniably New Zealand’s Next Top Hobbit. Born Sméagol to the Stoor Hobbits of the Gladden Fields (something we’re sure to see in Peter Jackson’s upcoming Hunt for Gollum films), he killed his cousin on his birthday for a ring, and ran away to hide under some mountains for years, becoming the Gollum we know and love today.

How could I not rank him as the top hobbit? Wellington Airport had him creepily sitting atop the arrival terminal, for crying out loud, greeting everyone in the world who already had to tackle a scary landing at a wild airport. I think they really missed an opportunity to get Andy Serkis to record a “Nau mai piki mai, welcome to Wellington” in character as Gollum.

Ranking Gollum #1 is not only my truth, it is my civic duty as a child of PJ-induced Middle Earth mania. I cannot imagine what the next few years will bring (please may it include a Gollum-themed acting challenge on Drag Race Down Under), but I do know it will inevitably include more Hobbits. Here’s hoping that it doesn’t turn out like the much-delayed (then dead-on-arrival) video game Gollum (2023), which bombed so badly that the studio shut its doors. Crossing my fingers and toes that it doesn’t shut the circular Hobbit-hole door to Middle Earth in New Zealand for good.