‘Community, art, laughter’: Where filmmaker Paloma Schneideman finds hope

The filmmaker behind award-winning coming-of-age drama Big Girls Don’t Cry shares her take on the state of the world.

Filmmaker Paloma Schneideman has had a hell of a year. Her debut feature film Big Girls Don’t Cry, set over one summer in Ōmaha in the mid-2000s, premiered at Sundance and received glowing reviews in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter. In June, it took out the Grand Prix at the Nouvelle Vagues in Biarritz, one of the most coveted international prizes for young filmmakers. In July, it opened Whānau Mārama, the New Zealand International Film Festival. 

Off the back of the win in Biarritz, Schneideman told The Spinoff that she made the coming-of-age film for her 14-year-old self. “It just felt really imperative to give voice to that deep loneliness and shame that you feel as a teenager before you even understand it.” And despite being an “inherently Kiwi work” it has clearly resonated with people around the world, famously praised by Kristen Stewart who told Biarritz audiences “I loved this film with my whole heart”.

With the film set to be released in cinemas nationwide on October 8, we asked Schneideman to share a bit about what she loves with her whole heart.

What bothers you most about the world right now?

Governments. Just across the board, governments doing wrong by their people. Committing atrocities, cutting funding, operating from fear and ego. 

What sort of people do you avoid?

Energy suckers, people with no sense of self. People that bitch about others when you’ve only just met them – I have no trust in people that start gossiping before they’ve earned your trust, give it 10 minutes of ice-breakers first.

What makes you want to get up in the morning?

My Rancilio Espresso machine. And the possibility of the day.

How do you hold onto hope in these crazy times?

Community, art, laughter. I think those three ingredients are behind a lot of great revolutions.

What is the single best quality a human can have?

Empathy. But also, be funny as.

What’s over-rated?

That hard chocolate part at the end of a trumpet ice cream.

What’s under-rated?

The power of the subconscious. And St Pierres Sushi.

If you could have a do-over, what would you change?

I don’t think I’d want to mess with the delicate butterfly-effect chain of tiny choices and fuck-ups that got me here, ‘cos I quite like where I’m at... so maybe I wouldn’t change anything? Or maybe I would have gotten braces when the dentist suggested it when I was 14?

What brings you joy?

My friends, laughing, creative brainstorming in all its possibility, making music, drinking coffee, red wine, shaking ass at Whammy or Neck of the Woods, falling asleep on the couch by my friends while the TV plays.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

If you don’t share the work, does it even exist? Or, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow – that’s a HalfQueen special, it’s essentially fearmongering as a way to make you live without fear. It’s weirdly effective. 

What advice do you wish you’d never followed?

This is just the way things are done so we must do it this way.

Tell us about a controversial opinion you hold.

Sentimental Value wasn’t that good.

When you’re feeling low, what helps?

Watching NBA basketball. Making my bed every morning, planting something so you can see something grow when you feel like you’re not.

In what ways is public-facing Paloma different to private Paloma?

I’m still figuring out that distinction. I guess I can be quite insular in private, I like my bed and reality TV and solitude. I know that sounds like depression, but I don’t think it is, it’s just comfort.

Give us some life advice.

Look for the signs from the universe, they’re everywhere when you start asking for them.

Big Girls Don’t Cry is in cinemas nationwide from October 8.