Barbed attacks on former colleagues, shirtless MPs and a shaky rendition of ‘9 to 5’: just some of the highlights from a bumper season for valedictory speeches in the House.

Every new member of parliament has the opportunity to deliver a maiden speech, an opportunity to tell their new colleagues a bit about themselves and what they may want to achieve as a representative. But not every MP gets to deliver a valedictory, the speech given at the end of a parliamentary career. That’s reserved only for an MP who has opted to resign. All the MPs that campaign in the upcoming election but don’t make it back – and there are likely to be quite a few – will never have the chance to formally farewell parliament. For example, National’s Michael Woodhouse withdrew from the list but is technically campaigning in Dunedin, a seat that will almost certainly stay red. He’ll never get the chance to say a proper goodbye.

And while 17 outgoing MPs from across the political spectrum have this month risen in the House to say goodbye, one name conspicuously missing from the list is former Labour minister Kiri Allan, who has elected not to give a valedictory speech.

So in case you missed them, or if you perhaps didn’t even realise your local MP wasn’t contesting the upcoming election, we’ve compiled a list of this year’s valedictories below.

Marja Lubeck (2017-2023)

Labour List MP based in Kaipara ki Mahurangi

Best known in some circles, perhaps unfairly, as a Twitter reply guy, Marja Lubeck has been a member of parliament since 2017. During that time, she has been a self-described passionate advocate for social justice and was one of the leading parliamentary voices in the fight to ban conversion therapy.

In her valedictory address earlier in the month, Lubeck thanked those who had welcomed her as “an ally in the rainbow community” and said she had been “blessed to have had the privilege to be part of the kaupapa to ban conversion practices”. She also acknowledged the “misconception” that list MPs can struggle to make a difference. “One of the most rewarding parts of the job has been advocating for the communities of, first, Rodney and, after the rezoning, Kaipara ki Mahurangi and Whangaparāoa,” she said. – Stewart Sowman-Lund

Jamie Strange (2017-2023)

Labour MP for Hamilton East

Everything you need to know about Strange’s very strange speech can be found here.

Paul Eagle (2017-2023)

Labour Electorate MP for Rongotai

Paul Eagle’s speech was similar to an Oscar winner’s remarks – half the content of both being shoutouts to those who supported the speech-maker. Eagle thanked too many people to list. But of note, he personally thanked around half the Chatham Island’s population of 660 people, which makes more sense if you know he’s about to become CEO of the islands’ governing body.

Eagle also recalled being the first tane Māori to represent a general electorate for Labour in over a century. Agreeing with Jamie Strange’s valedictory remarks, Eagle noted that MPs’ electorate work is often invisible to those outside its boundaries. He loved his mahi helping Rongotai constituents find new jobs and homes, gain visas, win funding for projects or better understand politics. But at a national scale, Eagle will also be remembered as the sitting Labour MP who failed to win Wellington’s mayoralty and had to scuttle back to a job he had just tried to ditch. – Tommy de Silva

Dr Elizabeth Kerekere (2020-2023)

Independent MP, former Green MP

We all know how it ended. Elizabeth Kerekere abruptly quit the Green Party earlier in the year after claims of bullying and the launch of an internal investigation into her conduct. We’ll never know how that investigation would have landed, because Kerekere resigned from the party before it was concluded.

In some sense, this drama clouded Kerekere’s valedictory, who fired parting shots at the Green Party co-leaders. “As number four on the Green Party initial list this year, I thought I was on a heart-warming two-part series, and it turns out I was on Survivor and I did not see the blindside coming,” she joked, before turning deadly serious, decrying “no formal complaints, no natural justice, and never a process, let alone a tikanga-based one. I consider this to be an epic failure of leadership.”

However, her final parliamentary address, less than three years after her first, also touched on her successes in parliament. She said her focus had also been on health, wellbeing and suicide and violence prevention. Kerekre was also a proud member of the Rainbow Greens, who she said were with her “every step of the way”.

“One of my single proudest things is putting the term ‘takatāpui’ into legislation for the first time – in the Pae Ora legislation – after so very long of researching, promoting, and advocating,” said Kerekere. “To be able to do that was an incredible, incredible thing for me.” – SSL

Stuart Nash (2008-2011, 2014-2023)

Labour electorate MP for Napier, former minister

For all the drama surrounding his exit from politics (the unthinking admissions of guilt in a Newstalk ZB interview, the immediate revelations of sharing confidential information, the sacking from ministerial portfolios), Stuart Nash has always been an interesting politician. He seemed like he really was just being himself and saying what he really thought – often to his own detriment.

And so went his valedictory address: “The highs have been lofty and the lows… were forgotten already, by me anyway,” he joked at the beginning of his speech. Nash did at times appear a bit ridiculous throughout his 12 years in parliament, but he always had a sense of humour. As MP for Napier and holder of many portfolios over the years, including police, revenue, forestry and economic development, Nash was ambitious and competitive, one of the literal jocks of the Beehive (he once posted a video of himself chest pressing 45kg dumbbells which is objectively impressive).

Nash delivered a lively speech last week, joking about the very scandal that had seen his political career cut short and reflecting on his own and his colleagues’ successes. He choked up while thanking his close friend Kelvin Davis, and again while thanking his wife, Sarah. And in a classic Nash move, he ended by brandishing an A2 printout of a Spinoff headline that read “I can’t believe Stuart Nash was right”. Part of me suspects he mostly wanted to show his shirtless vax pic one last time.

After a career with, as he said, plenty of highs and lows, Nash signed off with humour and grace. As The Spinoff’s not-so-reluctant Stuart Nash correspondent, I will miss his ridiculousness. – Madeleine Chapman

David Clark (2011-2023)

Labour MP for Dunedin, former minister

“We will have more time for bike riding soon,” said David Clark to his children at the end of his valedictory address. Both a truth and a joke, for we all remember what contributed to Clark losing the minister of health role during the Covid-19 pandemic: he was out mountain biking against the government’s own health guidelines.

But while that risked overshadowing his legacy, Clark has in the years since become a proven minister in other portfolios, most recently consumer affairs where he helped oversee plans to increase competition in the grocery sector.

After 12 years in parliament, Clark used his valedictory to thank the colleagues he’d be leaving behind – including finance minister Grant Robertson and transport minister David Parker. “David, you are in this job, first and foremost, to make a change that matters in people’s lives, and I hugely respect that,” said Clark.

And while his tenure as minister of health was cut short, Clark spent much of his speech reliving successes from this time. “I commissioned the Simpson review, later taking initial decisions, shifting the health system towards greater accountability and a stronger focus on population health,” he said. “We began the government response to the Havelock North water report. We kicked off medicinal cannabis. We founded a cancer control agency and put a cancer action plan in place. More funding for Pharmac saw several new cancer treatments purchased. We extended the national bowel-screening programme.” – SSL

Emily Henderson (2020-2023)

Labour MP for Whangārei

Emily Henderson has worked for decades as a lawyer, a crown prosecutor in family and criminal courts. She has particularly specialised in sexual violence. At number 64 on the 2020 list, she didn’t expect to get into parliament. But she narrowly defeated Shane Reti in the Whāngarei seat, entering parliament once the specials were counted by just 431 votes.

In her valedictory, Henderson said she had realised that her unexpected sojourn in parliament wasn’t the best way to serve New Zealand. She described her passion and pride for Whangārei, a town that “often comes in first at the wrong end of the socioeconomic race”. She said her proudest moment was having students from Whangārei Girls School come to present her with a thousand-strong petition to keep free school lunches after she’d talked to them about how to petition politicians.“Don’t take Whangārei for granted … the girls and boys of all our beaten down suburbs are rising up and they demand better,” she said. Henderson is the campaign manager for Labour’s Whāngarei successor, current list MP Angie Warren-Clarke. – Shanti Mathias

Aupito William Sio (2008-2023)

Labour MP for Māngere, minister for Pacific peoples

Everyone likes to look good on their last day but not everyone can go full tradition in chief’s clothing to deliver their final address. Aupito William Sio stood in the House wearing his pe’a and delivered a speech befitting a community leader who had spent the past month “on a tour” of Pacific communities saying goodbye.

Sio spent much of his speech, like much of his 15 years in parliament, speaking to and for Pacific communities. He thanked former prime minister Jacinda Ardern for the Dawn Raids apology but noted that there was more work to do in that area.

“I’m also in my traditional attire because I wanted to give confidence to people who look like me – tall, dark and handsome,” he joked. “To know that they too can be standing where I’m standing and to be proud of who they are and to not be afraid to claim the right to sit at the decision-making table at all levels in Aotearoa.”

Most notably, Aupito went on to encourage all Pacific youth to be themselves, no matter their cultural make up, religion, sexuality or gender identity. Such open acceptance and encouragement from a senior Pacific leader is huge. And while Auptio voted against legalising same-sex marriage in 2013 after consulting his electorate constituents, he has been a welcome and gentle leader over the years. He received a standing ovation from the House and leaves parliament a highly-respected leader and colleague. – MC

Todd Muller (2014-2023)

National MP for Bay of Plenty

Some on his side of the aisle hop into bed with climate deniers or downplay the seriousness of the warming planet, but Todd Muller shone a rare blue-green hue. He should be remembered for that, not his historically short stint as leader of his party. Muller clearly agrees, devoting much of his valedictory speech to climate issues.

He noted that he was the driving force behind National’s support for the Zero Carbon Act – coming to call James Shaw a friend through that process. “It was tough; we didn’t get everything we wanted, but we were focused on delivering something that would stand the test of time,” Muller said. But he had some warnings too.

Muller said the Climate Commission deserves more respect and “will become increasingly meaningless if we don’t follow its advice”. He hopes not to see climate mahi drowned out by denialism, catastrophisation or kick it down the road-ism. Reminding the House that the world is on track to overshoot two degrees of warming, Muller warned that the long-term climate recovery costs will dwarf the medium-term challenges of reducing emissions. “We cannot meet the gaze of our youth on climate action,” he said, “and that should not sit easy with us.”

Near the end of his speech, Muller expressed his wish for greater bipartisanship. Given that wish and his capacity to work civilly with the Greens, it’s hard not to wonder what the National Party might have looked like with its climate champion at the helm for more than just a few weeks. – TDS

Jacqui Dean (2005-2023)

National MP for Waitaki

It might seem unorthodox to spend the first third of your valedictory speech recounting, in specific detail, the trials and tribulations of simply trying to get around your electorate, but outgoing MP Jacqui Dean’s electorate, Waitaki, really is quite gargantuan in terms of kilometres squared – trumped by only two other electorates.

Dean was first elected to Parliament 18 years ago as MP for Otago, a traditional National stronghold which at the time was unexpectedly held by Labour’s David Parker. The seat was renamed Waitaki in 2008, and Dean has held it ever since. Even if it wasn’t always a walk in the park: “last election, oh my god, it got a bit dodgy at times”.

In her speech, Dean drew attention to her freshly coiffed hair and her pre-political career as a presenter on Play School before making a more serious plea for improved health services in the region – pointing specifically to maternity services and the on and off closures of the emergency department at Oamaru Hospital. “I have fought for years for the maternity facilities that this fast growing region desperately needs,” she said. “It’s not the region that needs maternity services, it’s the mums, the babies, and the dads and the families.”

There had been progress, she said, in the work done in the Francis Review into bullying and harassment in Parliament – but there was plenty more work to do. “While we have established the parliamentary commissioner for MP standards, I believe that more clarity is needed on expectations of behaviour for all of those who work on the parliamentary precinct and who have signed up to the code of conduct,” she said. “This is work for the next Parliament.” – Charlotte Muru-Lanning

Jan Logie (2011-2023)

Green list MP

Logie described herself as “lefty, feminist lesbian” in her maiden speech to Parliament back in 2011. In her valedictory, she thanked her partner Kath for coming to “some of the worst dates ever” including “protests, election panels and vigils for murdered women and children.”

“I used to say I decided to stand for parliament to stop yelling at politicians on the radio and now I’m leaving because I want to stop yelling at myself on the radio,” she said. She highlighted work to prevent sexual violence and emphasised the impact that trauma has on generations, citing the work of the Royal Commission into Abuse in Care and making the connection between abuse and gang involvement, saying  “when we punish these young people for the survival skills that they’ve learnt because of our failures or past violence, we condemn ourselves to repeat history.”

Logie said the biodiversity and climate crises continue, and require urgent action, and that every action could make a difference. Change, she said, did not come from waiting for politicians to act, but from communities rising up to work with politicians for a better society.

Logie’s supporters in the gallery sent her out by singing ‘9 to 5’ by Dolly Parton, an ambitious melody to take on acapella but entertaining nonetheless. – SM

Eugenie Sage (2011-2023)

Green list MP, former minister

In her valedictory, Sage spoke of how overwhelming it was to visit the Raukūmara Range in her role as minister of conservation and see how much damage wild deer had done to the biodiversity. “I was close to tears seeing the collapsing forest.” She was proud of the Greens’ commitment to the issues of biodiversity loss and freshwater river systems, but wished that more progress had been achieved.

Sage was behind the ban of single-use plastic bags; it didn’t seem possible when she’d first suggested it, but now singleuse plastics are now well on their way to being completely phased out. She rued the loss of the container return scheme, a victim of this year’s policy bonfire.

“Increasingly, the public understands the scale of the twin crises of climate and nature and that a powerful remedy to existential despair is connecting with others to promote change,” she said. “That creates hope and eventually political action.” – SM

Ian McKelvie (2011-2023)

National MP for Rangitīkei

“This place needs people with life experience, because we change a lot from our 20s and 30s to our – I’m not going to say how old I am!” said Ian McKelvie early in his valedictory statement. I’ll tell you how old he is: he’s 71, parliament’s oldest MP. The “genial country squire”, as Johnny Blades dubbed him in a fascinating interview for RNZ, was very much in evidence in his departing address, as he rattled amiably through the memories and rolled the credits on his political career. Liked and admired on all sides of the house, McKelvie spoke up for the qualities of kindness and collegiality – especially on issues such as climate change and family violence. Among those he paid tribute to was former Māori Party co-leader Dame Tariana Turia. “I think she’s the most courageous politician of my time.”

The former Manawatū mayor had some other words of wisdom: “If I had a piece of advice for members of parliament it would be, don’t blame the others, don’t hide from the problem; admit your shortcomings, and use your considerable influence and power to change what you can while you are here.” That, and in a nod to Nick Smith, with whom he once plunged into the Manawatu River: “One further piece of advice is: never be convinced by a senior minister to go swimming in a very public place.” – Toby Manhire

David Bennett (2005-2023)

National list MP, former MP for Hamilton East

“A recent opinion piece in the Waikato Times quoted from the Shakespearean play Macbeth, saying, ‘Nothing in David’s political life has become him so much as leaving it,’” said David Bennett in opening his closing address. While I’m pretty sure the Scottish play never had a character named David, that’s a warm sentiment to lead with.

His focus throughout his MP career had been “delivery, not stories”, he said, and on making Hamilton the “Chicago of New Zealand”. He proudly mentioned that the University of Waikato was the only university electorate seat that the National Party has held since 2005. “You’re not a true University of Waikato student if you don’t have a David Bennett pen.” Thank you, David Bennett, for your contributions to roads and the free stationery industry.

A touching moment came when Bennett spoke of his advocacy for a more open immigration system, specifically the welcoming of migrants into Hamilton and his work to make sure many Afghan interpreters in the military would be entitled to wear medals, and wear them in Anzac Day services.

He ended his speech as he seemed to have spent his tenure: upping Kirikiriroa. “The Waikato has unlimited potential,” he said. “It has land to grow on. It has an iwi willing to invest. It has the population to deliver results. It has the natural resources to continue to be the food bowl and energy hub of New Zealand. It has the industrial base to deliver for New Zealand. “ Despite spending the final term of his parliamentary career as a list MP, Bennett was a true electorate MP till the end. – Sam Brooks

Poto Williams (2013-2023)

Labour MP for Christchurch East

A decade in parliament is a testament to Poto Williams’ passion for her community. In her valedictory speech, she said she wanted to be the voice of children experiencing family violence, making special mention of James Whakaruru, a victim of family harm who died in 1999. Every year since she became an MP, she would re-read her maiden speech, she said, to remind herself of her purpose in the role. Williams’ used her valedictory speech to show gratitude to those who helped her throughout her ministerial journey, including a nod to her Pasifika aiga, or the Pacific caucus. “Remember to mention ‘Pacific world domination’ often, especially in front of Willie Jackson because it really makes him mad,” she joked.

In the 10 years Williams has served as an MP and then also a cabinet minister, she has watched the number of Pacific ministers grow from only herself, Aupito William Sio and Kris Faafoi into a whole team. That’s thanks to people like her who have paved the way, showing the Pacific community what is possible in politics. – Sela Jane Hopgood

Retiring Act MPs Damien Smith and James McDowall are yet to make their valedictory speeches.