Monster trucks, bored children and a promoter that couldn’t resist hitting back. Stewart Sowman-Lund recaps the most entertaining news story of 2023 so far.
Between a prime ministerial resignation and multiple devastating weather events, it’s been a busier than anticipated start to the news year. But no story has piqued my interest quite like the ongoing saga of the Monster Trucks Extreme Show tour.
That’s because, if reports are to be believed, the tour’s most recent stop in Tauranga was anything but extreme and barely featured any monster trucks at all. The spectacle was allegedly so underwhelming that a three-year-old was left “incredibly bored”. What it managed to achieve instead was several days worth of headlines more Monstrous and Extreme than anything the show itself could offer.
If you missed this monster yarn, here’s how it played out.
December 13, 2022: The tour is announced
A Facebook event is created for Monster Trucks Extreme at Tauranga’s Baypark. “Plan now for this ‘Not to be Missed’ family show”, the event description says, putting “not to be missed” in quotation marks, but not attributing the quote to anyone in particular.
Five people click “going”. Three are “interested”.
The event promises “MONSTER TRUCK MAYHEM” and four monster trucks with “names like Outback Thunda and Sharpshooter”.
Little does anyone know what is going to happen. But one thing is for certain: the monster trucks are on their way.
February 25, 2023: The big event
The five people who clicked “going” on the Facebook event head to Tauranga’s Baypark for some MONSTER TRUCK MAYHEM. Thousands of others join them – the event is sold out.
February 27 (AM): Monster trucks make the media
“Monster truck show leaves Tauranga crowd fuming and children bored,” proclaims the NZ Herald headline early on Monday morning. I, and thousands of other readers, instantly give it a click. The Herald speaks to some attendees: “We kept telling the kids they were just practising, they will start soon,” says one mum, who claims her children aged three to 13 were “incredibly bored”.
According to another attendee, the trucks (monster) drove in circles “a couple of times”, while one person claims there was “one at a time every 10 minutes, driving a 100m stretch and jumping over a car three or four times”.
Other entertainment, according to one attendee, included “small children riding around in circles”.
February 27 (PM): Auckland will be better, say monster trucks
As the negative feedback continues to roll in, the event’s organisers promise a better show when the monster trucks drive (and potentially jump over a car “three or four times”) into Auckland this weekend. “The Monster Trucks say it will be a better show than Baypark [in Tauranga],” Waikaraka Family Speedway promoter Bruce Robertson tells the Herald, appearing to speak on behalf of the trucks themselves.
February 28 (AM): ‘Kiwi fuckwits’ and their ‘shithole stadium’
The next day, the Australian company behind the monster truck tour takes issue with some of the complaints being raised. “Kiwi fuckwits” at Baypark Stadium are blamed for any issues with the show, while another customer is delivered this insightful response to a complaint: “Don’t worry about us fucking up at Huntley [sic] or any other fucking Kiwi fucking shithole stadium as after we honour this weekend’s shows in Auckland you and all the other venues who have bought tickets can wait at the gate all you like cause you are getting your money back we will take our supposed shit show home to our sell-out shows that run month after month there to thousands of very happy kids. No wonder virtually nothing comes to your country.”
February 28 (PM): Bad news
Terrible news for Auckland monster trucks and their fans: the saga appears to be over, with the NZ Herald reporting the promoter has made the extreme decision to cancel the entire Monster Trucks Extreme tour, saying that’s “what most of the Kiwis want”.
March 1: Good news
But wait, there’s more. Just a day later it’s confirmed this weekend’s event at Auckland’s Waikaraka Speedway will in fact be going ahead. “The Saturday show is sold out, but there’s still some tickets available for the Sunday at 4pm,” a promoter tells the Herald on Wednesday morning.
“It’s most definitely still going ahead.”
There’s no confirmation as to whether the “small children riding around in circles” will be part of the entertainment.
March 4 (maybe): Monster trucks take Auckland
The monster truck saga continues: this Saturday’s event in Auckland is sold out – and just a few tickets are reportedly left for Sunday. Buckle in, or as the promoters say: “Plan now for this ‘Not to be Missed’ family show.”