Pets of The Spinoff tuned in to RNZ Concert last night to catch its special programme for animals. Here’s what they thought.

We deeply and unreservedly apologise for not having photos of all the pets.

Molly (cat)

Molly mostly just wanted her second dinner. She did go scratch on her mat (possibly coincidence) which may mean something. Have we simply been conned by RNZ Concert marketing? Will these listener numbers be used for future appeals to save RNZ Concert? Whatever the case, I enjoyed the German composition we tuned in for and Molly waltzed off to the couch. Later we watched Brooklyn together and wept as the booms of fireworks were barely heard outside the window.

Molly does get scared when there’s thunder but yesterday she was a chilled out entertainer. / Madeleine Chapman

Coltrane and Albus (dogs)

Our oldest dog, Albus, isn’t bothered by fireworks. Our younger dog, a black lab cross named Coltrane, is so petrified of them that the only thing that would really soothe him in the FULL week surrounding this stupid celebration of a British man who tried to blow up the British parliament a million years ago, is hard drugs. 

We tuned in nonetheless. I was soothed as I acted as a human weighted blanket for Coltrane. He shivered and whimpered non stop for three hours with me on the couch, the banging somehow still getting through to his wigged out auditory nerve, despite double glazing and me having my hands over his ears. I can’t be sure because he’s a dog, but I think Albus enjoyed the programming which, at the very least, made a change from our usual playlists for them, Pet Radio and “music for pregnant cats”. I was grateful for the acknowledgement at the heart of the initiative which I read as “Guy Fawkes sucks”. / Anna Rawhiti-Connell

August (dog)

We tuned in just as Greensleeves started to play, and by the end of the song both myself and my partner felt ready for bed. August, our Cavalier King Charles puppy, seemed pretty chill too. He curled up on his bed and listened for about an hour, emitting only the occasional guttural growl as our neighbours decided it was time to let off several extremely loud fireworks. Not sure the applause at the end of some of the music was helpful, though the soothing voice of the RNZ Concert host – and her request for animal-related music puns – was as relaxing as the music. Again, this may be more a reflection on my own lack of sleep rather than August’s. / Stewart Sowman-Lund

Cornelius Cornflake (cat)

If Cornelius Cornflake was a person, he would’ve been one of the young ragers who showed up to Travis Scott last week. But much better than that, he is a beloved house cat. This was Cornelius’ first Guy Fawkes and it went swimmingly, and I like to think that’s all due to the calming soundscapes created by RNZ Concert (and the fact that virtually no one in Parnell was letting off fireworks) allowing him to cuddle up onto the couch or melt into our arms. He’s usually a bit of a zoomer and that added with explosions in the sky seemed a recipe for disaster, but The Bro (his other nickname) has walked away from this night with the brain of an infant raised by Baby Beethoven (that being, only ever so slightly bigger). / Lyric Waiwiri-Smith

Nuku (dog) + Nas, Tango, Colby, and Bamboo (cats)

Nuku slept through most of the fireworks and concert, which is standard for him after a big day at doggy day care. To be fair, his doggy day care plays classical music all day anyway, so he’s  pretty well conditioned to the likes of Bach and Vivaldi. He did bark once or twice when he heard the doorbell, but otherwise seemed unbothered by everything. Nas took some coaxing to come inside, which turned into a bolt when he heard some fireworks go off from across the street. Otherwise, it was difficult to tell if the concert helped the cats relax, or if they were just indifferent, which is quite common for cats in general. / Liam Rātana

Link (cat) and Maggie (dog)

We tuned in to hear an aptly-named composition called ‘Twilight’ just as fireworks started popping off across south Christchurch. Maggie had started to burrow into me, flinching and flitting her eyes about a bit, and the music actually kinda… worked? Within a few minutes she was back down on her favourite rug happily chewing her fake fish bone thing, and at one point she even went up to the TV and rested her head on the cabinet to really soak up the vibes. Might have just been trying to read more about the ancient, inconspicuous plant voted new Zealand’s favourite, but who can blame her? Link the cat stayed tucked up in a ball inside Maggie’s crate (power move), completely unbothered by anyone and anything around him. / Alex Casey

Albert (dog)

Albert is currently snoozing on the couch after playing with his tennis ball, if the ball is out he goes into what I can only describe as a brain sickness like in medieval times. The sickness in his brain distracts him from the fire crackers. He also has a full belly and has had a wee cube of cheese. Seems relaxed with the whole affair. In a combination of factors all is well on Hopetoun in terms of keeping the stress levels at bay. Agree with Mad, is this a gimmick? Undecided here. / Rebecca Murphy

Zebby (dog)

Zebby feels nothing about most things and this includes fireworks and the special concert put on for him by RNZ. I imagine Zebby’s internal soundtrack is white noise (sorry Zebby but you are a dog).

He was more confused by the random voices of people announcing each piece of music. / Sophie Dowson

Ugolino (cat)

Ugolino does not like the song which is entirely dogs barking. Does not care about the fireworks. / Hera Lindsay Bird