The comedian and actor tells FIRST about the breakdown of her first marriage (in preschool), her dream job and more.

First love

“I got married in preschool. There was a ceremony. It was to a boy named Ethan, who I cheated on in year one because a boy came to school and had dreadlocks and then I kissed him on the mouth – consensually. Then my husband divorced me.”

First dream job

“A judge. I watched Judge Judy I think, as a kid and then was like, ‘That’s it, I want to be a judge’. And I did go to law school for three years… I did first year all three times. And so I’m an actor, which is basically what Judge Judy is anyway, so… winning.”

First heckle

“I get strange heckles. I don’t get normal heckles. There was a lady in the front row and she yelled, ‘Teach us to reo Māori.’ But she didn’t pronounce it that good. She pronounced it badly.”

First job

“I worked at Countdown and I was so bad at it. My sister and her boyfriend were my supervisors and I was so bad. I felt that dinging the bell was humiliating. You know when you have to ding it and put your hand up if something’s wrong? So if stuff didn’t have barcodes, I’d just make the noise with my mouth. I’d be like ‘beep beep’. So many people got free stuff from me.”

First memory

“I remember eating an Arrowroot biscuit in a pram, and I was three and that’s it. There’s not much more to it.”