Who will be walking down the aisle in the biggest reality show in Australasia? Alex Casey introduces the Married at First Sight Australia contestants for 2024. 

Another year, another fresh crop of brave tributes looking to enter television’s most controversial and beloved social experiment. Married at First Sight Australia returns to Three and ThreeNow on February 5, and the new season promises, rather terrifyingly, that it will be the “most polarising” in history.

“This season of MAFS will push the limits on everything viewers think they know about the series,” the press release reads. “With more twists, turns and shocks – even beyond Final Vows – and rivalries, betrayals and heartbreak that will rock the experiment from beginning to end.”

Wrapped up in warnings that it’s “not for the faint-hearted” and “guaranteed to be the talk of the town”, fans of the series will be waiting with bated breath to see how on earth the series can top the monstrosity of last year, a season packed with so much unmissable drama that it repeatedly beat the 6pm news in the ratings.

For now, all we can do is analyse the cast bios and predict what fairytale endings and absolute horrors await. May the odds be ever in their favour.

Richard 

The 62 year-old motivational speaker is “charismatic, self-assured and loud” and maintains that he is still “young at heart”. He recently dated a woman 27 years younger than him, and is now looking for a woman closer to his own age. So maybe just 26 years younger, then.  

Andrea

The 51-year-old photographer first learned the term “gaslighting” from watching Married at First Sight, and was empowered by the show to cut ties with her ex-partner. Since then she has been “bread-crumbed, love-bombed and ghosted”, but luckily that sort of thing never happens on MAFS. 

Ben 

The former tour guide found himself stuck in construction during Covid, and is craving the adventurous life he once had. He also admits to having unrealistic expectations and a fear of settling down, but we’re certain a televised marriage to stranger should fix all that up in a jiffy. 

Cassandra

The office administrator is “a laughing ray of sunshine” who wants to start a “small football team” with someone. Can talk underwater and looking for someone with a “beautiful smile”, so will in all likeliness be matched with Oscar from Shark Tale. Bring the tissues!

Jack

We struggled to actually read this bio at first as it was oddly draped in red flag bunting? “Fit, charming and vain, Jack describes himself as an alpha male who needs a partner respectfully submissive to his dominance… The list of required attributes for his future partner are lengthy: they must be glamorous, fit, a nice smile, tanned and ideally brunette.”

Eden

Her last relationship ended because her partner cheated with her best friend, so the recruitment manager from Queensland admits she has more trust issues than Troy Delmege has had hot tuna breakfasts. We hope and pray that she does not get matched with a shithead.

Jayden

Brother to Mitch from season nine, kickboxer Jayden insists he is nothing like his sibling. He trains all day as a professional kickboxer and works as a security guard by night, developing a knack for “hiding his emotions and showing no pain.” Good luck getting those steel reinforced concrete walls down, wifey. 

Ellie

Ellie was also left heartbroken after her former fiance cheated on her and they cancelled their wedding a month before the big day. She now has a “constant need for reassurance” and a tendency to “bend over backwards” for people. May the terrible odds be ever in her favour.

Jonathon 

This lad appears to have lived a thousand lives, serving as an infantry soldier, a concreter and a financial adviser. He’s lived on remote islands for weeks at a time and hunted his own food to survive, and there is a non-zero chance he thinks he has signed up for Man vs Wild. 

Lauren

Foodie and PR consultant Lauren is known for her cutting sense of humour and high standards when it comes to restaurants. Given that this series has seen such haute cuisine such as toaster pizza and pasta without the pasta, we just hope she’s packed some scroggin. 

Michael

Sassy salesperson Michael grew up Ohio and says he will do anything for those he loves. Having been single for five years, he says he is ready to settle down with someone tall, dark and handsome. We truly wish him all the luck in the world. 

Lucinda

She’s described as an “earth mama” and a “free spirit” who “dances to the beat of her own drum” and sees herself as “a steward of love and light”. No further questions, you honour. 

Tim

You’d think someone who loves both the beach and ice baths might run a bit hot and cold, but Tim is about as laid back as they come. He’s had his heartbroken by infidelity in the past, and is looking for “a great conversationalist who exudes feminine energy.” An earth mama, perhaps?

Natalie

A proud nerd, Natalie has dabbled in cosplay and gaming and says that she is looking for her very own “Player 2” in the game of life. She also has a very intriguing sounding collection of memorabilia dedicated to her dog Miemie, who we really hope walks her down the aisle. 

Collins

This pub quiz host is an awkward and quirky chatterbox who has perpetually been put in the friend zone and has never had a girlfriend before. We wish him all the best in his marriage with Natalie. If he’s matched with anyone but Natalie, we wish him a Westpac Chopper. 

Sara

Her bio details a “big personality” with a “fiery nature” who has been known to “offend people with her honesty”. She’s looking for a confident guy with good conversation and light hair, so we can’t wait for her to marry a shy, dark-haired, hermit crab. 

Simon

He spent his 20s married to a woman, but came out as gay just before his 30th birthday. Still sharing the co-parenting of his teenage son with his ex-wife, Simon is sick of the dating apps and looking for a connection and a committed relationship. 

Tori

A “bulldog” who claims she doesn’t “do compromise”. Tori says she is a “stickler for control” and “does not need a man”. If she must specify, she’d like a man who is “masculine, fit, career-focused, driven, tidy, emotionally intelligent and a good communicator.” God’s speed.  

Timothy 

A self-described Peter Pan (there’s that red bunting again), Timothy is a business owner who reckons he could sell water to a fish. He says he wants to feel butterflies when his bride walks down the aisle, probably because he wants to sell them a discounted deal on air. 

Tristan

He’s a confident, funny and adventurous entertainment manager, which may or may not mean he works behind the counter at Time Out. He’s looking to be someone’s ultimate hype man, and may or may not be able to give them as many goes on the claw machine as he can.

Married at First Sight Australia begins February 5 on Three and ThreeNow.