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Pop CultureSeptember 30, 2015

Television: Five Incredibly Dark Omens From The Premiere of The Block NZ


As a prelude to the Block NZ: Villa Wars Power Rankings starting next week, Calum Henderson investigates the first episode’s series of ominous signs which indicate that this will surely be New Zealand’s scariest ever renovation show.

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Two adjacent sections snaffled up in “Auckland’s sought-after central west”. Four decrepit old three-bedroom villas carefully tetrissed onto them. Host Mark Richardson stalking their scaffolding like the Phantom of the Opera.

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In the first episode of The Block NZ: Villa Wars one thing became immediately apparent – all four villas are clearly haunted. The episode featured no end of dark omens suggesting this is going to be the spookiest series of The Block ever made.

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1. Where the streets have no name

This chilling detail seems like it was ripped straight from the script of the world’s scariest horror movie. Look at them obliviously lugging their snazzy Samsonite suitcases past a clear sign that nothing but pure terror awaits.

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2. The haunted painting in Villa 4

Have you ever seen anything more obviously haunted than this painting? Whose is it? Why is it still there? What horrors has it seen? No wonder nobody wanted Villa 4. Will be very interesting to see how it comes back later in the show, how many people it kills etc.

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3. The haunted bay window in Villa 2

Mark came right out and said: “This window will come back to haunt Brooke and Mitch for the rest of their time on The Block.” Brooke came right out and said: “It doesn’t work any more. It’s all broken.” This window is bad news.

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4. The Block NZ: Flame Wars

Not only does Villa 2 have a haunted bay window, it has straight up been set on fire at one point. At this stage it’s looking incredibly likely that all these villas have in fact been relocated from the scenes of tragic and grisly deaths.

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5. Hayden’s premonition

Is this a sketch of a room design concept, or an eerily vivid premonition of his own death: trapped in a claustrophobic black-walled cell with words scrawled in fresh blood dripping down the wall? Deeply unsettling either way.

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