Please enjoy this excellent episode of Shorty Street Scandal, wherein James Mustapic recaps the past week of Ferndale hijinks. This week? We meet Professor Boris, three Ferndale folk flee, and Chris talks about colons for some reason:
It was Colon Week at the Street, with Professor Helgard (known to his friends as Boris) visiting the hospital to hear Boyd’s Pecha Kucha all about the world of butts. Boris seemed prestigious, helped largely by his beard and his vaguely American accent – but he was still eager to learn from Buttmeister Boyd. As Chris Warner wildly unnecessarily said, “there’s always a new wrinkle when it comes to colons.” Despite nerves, Boyd kicked the colon presentation in the arse and even got a luxury handshake from Professor Boris.
Talking of foreigners, this week we lost three essential Shortland Street characters to the lands over the seas. Honor ended up causing mayhem after showing up in Kane’s room wearing a black silky robe. It was the final straw for her, and she has been shipped out of Murray and Wendy’s straight to Stan Walker-ville. Our favourite on-again-off-again ambulance couple Dallas and Ula made a great escape to London as well this week, after a dramatic last-minute kiss that captured the heart of the nation.
Romance must have been in the air, because even Leanne and Kylie got involved in “LoveSnap” – Ferndale’s more-savoury-looking answer to Tinder. Leanne got pretty excited about the service pretty fast, entering a weird trance where she would drift in and out of normal speech, “nice chest…the chin and the hair…dubious.” Her lucid dream was interrupted by TK, who stormed the staffroom to ask what they were doing. “We’re doing a bit of objectifying,” Leanne joked, unaware of TK’s hidden stance on the matter (spoiler alert: he “takes the piss out of it”):
We end our journey with James this week in a way that is becoming increasingly normal – with a visit to the Shortland Street set. This is one of the many benefits of having him in Auckland, for sure. We see some great photos of Chris, Dayna and Kane goofing off on set, but I’m a little distracted by James’ new feline co-host that his joined him in the fancy lounge. Is this the evil skinny twin of Kronos? Guess we’ll have to wait and see.