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RecapsNovember 7, 2014

The Tribe Has Spoken: Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 6


Survivor San Juan Del Sur Blood vs. Water 2 Power Rankings

12) Swag-factor 10 for Jeremy’s modified capri pants.


The warrior achilles amirite?

11) Don’t Bring a Fake Idol to an Idol Fight

fake idol

Props to Dale for a spirited scramble but, to be honest, this wasn’t going down any other way. He sealed his fate with the Survivor gods and this viewer when he called Missy a “bossy bitch”.

Good on him for pulling the ol’ fake idol routine out of the cupboard. Really though, I reckon he half-assed it a bit. Like, that’s obviously not a real idol. Look at it. It’s a piece of shit. That twine? Come on Dale. Sort it out. Frankly it’s almost pissing on the previous masters of fake idols, aka Yau-Man (GOAT) and skinny old Bob Crowley*.

Anyway. Goodbye to Dale. You will be missed by people who got tricked by the first episode, where you seemed like a cool guy. RIP FarmGuy69.

10) Recycle Boutique


The cube things they had to roll in this challenge were definitely the same cube things from the challenge in the first episode. Survivor is really tightening the old purse strings. Also the whole one-on-one reward challenge stuff has got to be about saving money by minimizing their builds. Damn, really hope this doesn’t mean Survivor is on the outs.

9) Shitty Reward

shitty kebab

Yeah I agree this sucks.

8) The [Island] is our Church

new styles

Wtf? Where did this formal attire come from? Whatever I love it. Good lookin out. Also Jeremy in glasses is a fricken slam dunk, and will assumedly help his progress a great deal.

7) Baylor Swift

I get the feeling that Baylor is primed to be the deciding swinger once the tribes merge nek week. Two factions have formed, one led by Josh (couples) and the other by Jeremy (singles) and Baylor is kind of stuck in a central position. The question will probably come down to whether her alliance with Josh still holds water to the degree that she drags her mum over to the couples alliance.

Truly a “sticky situation”.

6) Dark Julie

 dark julie

I think Julie is gonna quit and it guts me because it owns my favourite alliance – Jeremy and Natalie (aka “Fear of a Black Island”). It actually seems inevitable. Why else would they have wasted so much time on her troubles in this episode?

5) Never not Pimpin’


Wow. Jon is truly the pimp of our times. On the island, and irl.

Screen Shot 2014-11-07 at 3.42.06 pm

So Jon and Jaclyn got engaged irl the other day. I reckon that’s actually a bad omen:
1) it probably means they didn’t have to vote each other out, and since I can’t see them both making it to the end, so therefore I don’t think either of them will.
2) Jon seems so incredibly comfortable with expressing his affection for Jaclyn on TV, that I imagine if he was set to make it to the finale, he would have saved his proposal for that occasion and pulled a Boston Rob.

In conclusion, this happiness ultimately represents misery.

4) Jeremy constantly chewing a stick

jeremy stick

Major oral fixation. Extremely good and intimidating look imo.

3) Gamer of the Week: Natalie Twinnie

natalie exile

Great work this week by Natalie. Her alliance with Jeremy looks very strong and cool. I thought she did a good job of coaxing Julie into staying in the game, and her decision to head to Exile Island with Baylor was a pretty savvy move for a couple of reasons. It allowed her to created that bond with Baylor, which could come in handy post-merge. It also stopped Julie from having to go, as she knew that it may be the straw that broke her fragile ally.

Shouts to Natalie.

2) Reed Beast Mode

reed beast

Reed’s pwnage of Baylor in the reward challenge was incredible. Got me thinking that Reed could be an incredibly dangerous immunity threat post-merge. I find it weird that big buff dudes are usually targeted as individual threats based on the logic that they could win their way to the end. This basically never happens. Brute strength rarely comes in handy after the merge. The real key is guile. Being nimble is helpful as is not being too heavy as a lot of challenges involve balance and/or supporting your own weight for long periods of time. And who has those kind of skills?

spider reed (1) 


1) This

jeff carrying shit

It was a great episode, chock full of strategic intrigue and drama. In saying that, my favourite moment of the week was Jeff dragging this massive pile of shit along the beach.

What an idiot.

Actual Power Rankings
12) Jaclyn
11) Julie
10) Alec
9) Wes
8) Jon
7) Reed
6) Missy
5) Keith
4) Baylor
3) Josh
2) Natalie
1) Jeremy

Predictions for Nek Week

We’re going into a merge! I look forward to them eating a lot of food and getting the shits and talking about it with Rob Cesternino later on.

I see it breaking one of two ways:
1) Julie quits OR
2) Our two alpha dogs, Jeremy and Josh, target each other.


* Bob Crowley is the only person from Survivor I’ve ever met in real life. When I worked as a busboy at the Rendezvous hotel, he checked in with his wife. I assume they were using that Survivor $$$ to tour the world’s sexiest countries. I immediately recognised him because 1) he’s real tall and skinny with distinctive glasses and 2) he was wearing the exact same outfit he wore in Survivor Gabon. Including a fuckin custom BUFF/BOWTIE! I started chatting to him while I carried their bags to their room and I told him that he was one of my favourite Survivors (obvious lie, because he isn’t even top 10). He asked me what to do in Auckland. I suggested Kelly Tarlton’s lmao. Moral of the story is, if you work in a hotel, it’s important to figure out who is American. ‘Cos Americans tip real good, aka Bob Crowley gave me $20.


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