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Photo: RNZ
Photo: RNZ

OPINIONSocietyFebruary 7, 2020

Emily Writes: 10 reasons you should stop complaining about Wellington’s weather

Photo: RNZ
Photo: RNZ

Yes, the capital’s having a shithouse summer, but there are plenty of reasons to look on the bright side, says Emily Writes.

The world-famous Routeburn Track will be closed for the “foreseeable future” and Milford Track is staying shut for at least a few more weeks after terrible storms hit the south. Mataura, Gore, Wyndham and Balclutha were evacuated, with some homes under water, and farms in Southland and south Otago are damaged. The town of Mataura is really suffering.

It’s a grim warning about climate change. And we need to rally to support those who really need it. Not us Wellingtonians who, frankly, should be used to wearing a coat in February.

In other parts of New Zealand it’s apparently sunny and hot. Real hot. I say apparently because I live in Wellington. And for most of January, the capital was cloudy, windy and kind of shit. Meteorologist Andy Best told Stuff that a “blocking high” was stopping the sun from coming out. So far, the hottest it has been all summer was 22 degrees Celsius on January 6. Shithouse. There’s no denying it.

BUT – you need to look on the bright side even if the skies are, well, grey. And I mean look out the window (at 10.45am). It’s sunny.

Oh, it’s not sunny now? OK, well it was.

Grab your jacket – here’s 10 reasons why you should be happy that the windy city has been windy and shitty.

1. If it was too sunny, we might not appreciate the half hour that it is sunny.

This city is just teaching us to be grateful and to cherish every moment. In other parts of the country they’re just used to 30 degrees. We haven’t had that since December 26, 2015. So when it’s hot, we’re rejoicing. We’re doing what you’re meant to be doing when it’s hot – flinging ourselves into the sea.

OK, we’re not actually flinging ourselves into the sea. Because the sea around Wellington is chockfull of faecal matter. And that’s my number two (literally)…

2. It’s good it’s not too hot because if it was we’d all be puking our guts out after getting gastro from the water.

Right now there are five trucks carrying shit every hour, 24 hours a day, from Moa Point to the dump. And while this seems shit, it’s not as shit as where the shit was going before, which was right into our beach. Wellington Water took warning signs down at my local beach, but resident Eugene Doyle and the heroes of Ōwhiro Bay Residents Association (not to be confused with the Island Bay Residents Association, the ones who can’t focus on anything but the fact that The Parade is slightly less wide – yes, this is what you focus on when you have too much money) have been on the case. They informed the community that the official poo reading at the Ōwhiro Stream outlet on February was 3900 colony-forming units of enterococci bacteria. The maximum safe level is 280. Weeeee! This is all after it took the better part of a week to halt “the daily flow of an Olympic-sized pool of sewage into Wellington Harbour“.

3. If it was hot all the time we couldn’t insufferably say “You can’t beat Wellington a good day!” to each other.

That’s part of who we are. We literally can’t not say it. It’s like a vocal tick you just get if you’ve lived here for more than three years.

4. Who needs heat anyway when you have a museum with a squid in it?

Excuse me, we might not have good weather ever but we have other stuff that’s inside. Like a giant squid. And… you can see where they made The Thunderbirds and we have a fucking incredible capybara breeding programme, so much so that we’re sending our capys to Sydney to knock up other capys. And… there’s a giant squid.

5. Have you seen what has been happening in the south? In Australia?

Stop being such an asshole, do you hate koalas or something? Towns are under water dude. Yeah, that’s right. Be quiet.

6. At least we don’t have traffic – oh fuck, now we do actually, so ignore this one.

But I’m sure our mayor Peter Jackson will fix it. Given he probably uses a helicopter to fly over us peasants on our bikes. Oh wait – that’s the bright side! You’re stuck inside your car when it’s windy. Wellington City Council, in the second week of January, had “473 places around the city and suburbs where road cones were out and motorists could expect to slow, detour, or be delayed”, according to Stuff. That vote for celebrity over city progress was so worth it! Don’t worry, you can always jump on a bus… Haha! Just joking.

7. It’s so windy you can’t smell the poo trucks and when our new mayor digs up dump sites to build on them we probably won’t smell it as bad.

I mean building on landfill – what could go wrong?

8. If you’re a goth it’s quite nice.

I can wear black all year round, which is perfect, because why would you wear anything other than black?

OK I don’t have anything for 9.

But I committed so we probably need to stick to 10.

Oh wait!

Netflix! You can guilt-free stay inside all summer and watch TV because there is no summer.

In any case, I did go for a swim yesterday though so it’s not all bad… shit I have to go –

Keep going!
The stars have spoken: and they say do whatever you want.
The stars have spoken: and they say do whatever you want.

SocietyFebruary 6, 2020

Is astrology cool now? Why young people are listening to the stars

The stars have spoken: and they say do whatever you want.
The stars have spoken: and they say do whatever you want.

It’s Aquarius season, which means it’s time to unpack why exactly young people are so into astrology all of a sudden. Alice Webb-Liddall asks two social media astrologers, one astrology enthusiast, and a counselling astrologer what the stars are saying.

So it’s mercury retrograde that made you put an x on the end of an email to your boss. You’re a Scorpio with a Gemini rising so it’s not your fault you ghosted that guy last week, and you hate your best friend’s new boo but it’s because they’re a Taurus and there’s just no way that pairing would work.

First, I have to make it explicitly clear that this article is in no way defending astrology from a scientific standpoint, because, well it’s not at all grounded in science. Countless studies have found no scientific basis to the idea that the stars affect our personalities and decision-making abilities.

Growing up with a science-loving father who would laugh in dismay if I so much as looked at the Coffee News horoscopes, astrology, tarot, psychics and that whole world of spirituality were alien to me. I was born on the cusp of two star signs, Aquarius and Pisces, and I had never even been curious enough to figure out which one I actually belonged to until about a year ago (it’s Aquarius btw). Fast forward to now, I just bought a deck of tarot cards, I know my moon, sun and rising signs and what they all mean, and I read horoscopes with a newfound seriousness.

Spinoff staff writer Josie Adams is rumoured to have got her job here because she guessed the star sign of editor Toby Manhire during her interview. 

“I guessed because he was doodling during the interview. It means he’s easily distracted and has creative tendencies. Also he was drawing faces so he’s fixated on people not things.” The traits Adams saw were enough for her to confidently exclaim “classic Pisces” when she saw the ‘notes’ he had been taking throughout the interview. 

The past few years have given rise to a new generation of astrology-curious people, and this rise has been predominantly online. One of the leading lights in the new wave of online astrology is Drunkstrology, an Instagram page with over 600,000 followers accrued through posting star sign memes. 

The two women behind the page, Tayla Jones and Samantha Gorman, say memes are a good way for young people to connect with astrology – even if they don’t completely believe in it. 

“Astrology has been mainstream re-popularised through memes, which have a demographic made up of primarily young people. People love content that tells them more about themselves, and young people in particular love sharing content that has to do with themselves.”

The two say the page was created for them and their friends to have a laugh, and while they believe astrology is “a serious practice”, that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun, too. “We both really like joking around about people and their zodiac signs, and a lot of the time will base certain memes off of particular things our friends do that we feel our very ‘Scorpio’ or very ‘Pisces’.

“Overall it’s just a fun way of channeling our interests (memes, astrology, being creative, calling out our friends) into one thing.”

Kath Tutill, a counselling astrologer and former president of the Astrology Association of New Zealand, welcomes the renewed interest in the topic. 

“I think the reason it’s suddenly taken off with the younger generation is that they’re searching for something. They’re questioning a lot and searching. They’re looking at other options as to who they are, what they’re doing here, what their career pathway should be. A lot of them have it figured out but a lot of them don’t.”

But just because she’s down with the astrological kids, it doesn’t mean Tutill finds all star sign memes funny. “If there’s someone taking the piss with some of these memes…  some zodiac signs do get a more negative hit than others. I’m a Scorpio sun sign and people have quite a lot to say about that, but that’s not your whole persona.”

The Spinoff’s Josie Adams says she doesn’t believe that astrology that can predict the lotto or tell someone how they’re going to die. But even if astrology can’t predict the future, she still finds it valuable. 

“I do think it’s a tool for analysis. For example, if someone says they’re a ‘classic Gemini’ then I can safely assume some character traits: chatty, accident-prone, barely concealed superiority complex. If an astrologer/psychic can read someone really well they can probably take a fairly good stab at what they’ll do next.”

Even Jones and Gorman, who dedicate a lot of time to astrology, don’t want people to put too much stock in their horoscope. “We definitely don’t think you should live your whole life based on what the stars may say about you, but if you resonate with something, great!”

And that’s certainly how I think about astrology and other similar practices. While it’s impossible to get my dad’s voice out of my head whenever I read tarot for myself or my boyfriend, I’m also not kidding myself when I do. I’m not looking for excuses or for prophecies. Usually, I’m just looking for a little bit of guidance.

“I think the value is in self-analysis. If you can relate to a flaw – like being a ‘hot-tempered Aries’ – then you can start to work on it and you might become a better person. It’s not likely, but we live in hope,” says Adams.

Even Tutill admits that sometimes astrological readings can be vague, but says people should take what they need from it. “What you read, as long as it’s true and correct and has good integrity behind it, the person receiving that information will absorb what they want and what they need at that particular time.”

It’s a common criticism that astrology readings are open to interpretation, but if you think of it as a meditation tool, that’s precisely why it’s so helpful. You take what you want, learn about yourself and drive change in the aspects of your life you think you need to. 

But don’t take it from me, I’m a Scorpio moon.

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