An anonymous lawyer for children explains what she does, and why it matters. 

I’m a lawyer who is appointed by courts to represent children in cases where there are concerns about their safety or where the court thinks it necessary. In almost all cases involving disputes around the care of or decision making for children, a lawyer will be appointed for the child because the court is required to take their views into account and this is the means by which their views are presented legally. This includes cases where Oranga Tamariki is involved, and often cases involving family harm.

To represent children, I meet children and collate information for their parents and for the judge who might be making decisions. I provide information about what is needed, or what the court might consider doing next. Increasingly, we hold meetings with people involved, talk with parents, the other parties, social workers, teachers, whānau members and police to gain a picture of the world around the children.

Meeting the children I work with is the most important part, and a requirement. I have children. I am always mindful to talk to the children I work with as I would want someone to talk to my own kids. I understand how unsettling it must feel for parents to have a stranger meet their children. But I’m not a psychologist and I am not assessing them, nor am I interviewing them for evidence. I’m obtaining their views and wishes about the situation they are in.

I approach these meetings kindly, with respect, with some jokes, and gently. I always say if they don’t want to talk, that’s OK too. In many years of this work I have only very rarely met a child who didn’t want to talk.

Where children are young, I often won’t even use the word lawyer. I’ll say I am helping mum/dad/auntie/uncle/nana to make agreements and I am interested to hear what they (the child) thinks might be good. If they are older, I will explain that I am a lawyer but that the legal process is not like Judge Judy or the court they might see on TV. I explain that decisions are going to be made by the adults and while it’s the adults’ responsibility to make those decisions, it’s really important to know what the child thinks.

We talk about pets, sports, siblings, and sometimes I get to sit down with playdough or to glue sequins on a picture while we chat. Those are my favourite times. Every child I meet has something special about them.

I never ask a child to choose. I never ask a child to tell on an adult. I never tell a child anything is their decision; I always explain that the adults are responsible for making that decision. Even with older children – whose views can hold more weight – I still say I will make sure their views are heard when decisions are made, but I can’t promise that what they want will happen. 

I say to children that if adults are talking negatively about each other, it is OK to say “please don’t talk about that in front of me”. I reassure them that the adults they love being in disagreement is not their problem. I try where I can to support the notion that their parents are working together for them. I offer them a confidential talk if they would like it. Mostly they are happy for the adults to know what we talked about. If a child makes a disclosure which relates to their safety or that of someone else, I’m trained to tell them I will need to tell the appropriate people, and then I will do it. I’ll never go and see a child who is about to have an evidential interview. I am always mindful not to overwhelm a child who has already met countless professionals.

While children’s lawyers are independent, we are also thinking about the bigger picture, the short term, the long term, and, crucially, children’s safety. We are legally trained, and we may well form an opinion about what will be best. We also work representing parties, and we listen, read and learn. To gain a place on the lawyer for children list, we need to have accumulated a certain amount of legal experience. There is also regular and ongoing training for the role. The pay rate is less than half you might expect to pay your private lawyer for an hour’s work, and we are paid by the Ministry of Justice.

Sometimes I’m appointed for children who are too young to speak or are unable to speak. While that might seem strange, the role also encompasses looking at their best interests, requesting information from others, and if appropriate, assisting parties to reach agreement. I follow research about what young children need to form strong relationships, but I also know that parents know their children best. I won’t profess to know children better than their parents, but sometimes I can see more clearly in the moment what will work best for them. That comes from years of experience and from not being caught in the emotional fallout of the proceedings.

This work can come with a cost. Increasingly, long waits between court dates mean I end up a sort of stand-in for the court; running meetings, keeping contact arrangements going, following up and acting when crises arise. This perception of lawyers for children as decision makers is dangerous for us. We frequently face threats and abuse if we are perceived to take a stance. We don’t have the personal security which is afforded to the judges. The recent assault on our colleague in Whangārei illustrates how unsafe this job can be. Also increasingly, people are self represented and I might be the only lawyer involved in a proceeding, in which case I could be tasked with managing things between court dates. That can work well, but only until one party does not agree.

If you have children and they have had a lawyer appointed, let them know that we are interested in how they feel about things and what they would like to happen. You can tell them we are helping the adults try to agree. Don’t coach them on what to say. Don’t talk to them about the finer details of the proceedings or the failings of the other party. They are allowed to love everyone whatever else is going on around them. I care about the children I represent having their interests represented in court, and I know that being someone who can hear what they say and explain what is happening is vital.