SocietySeptember 28, 2022

Cursed rentals of New Zealand: Stairway to hell edition


Take the stairs – if you dare. 

Auckland designer Richard Parry has been cataloguing curiosities within the local rental market in a long-running segment on his Instagram page called Crap Rentals. As a part of Rent Week, Parry has given The Spinoff the keys to his illustrious archive of shocking, uneasy, hilarious and ridiculous rental properties advertised across Aotearoa.

Today, we look at the 10 most threatening stairwells on the market.

10) Sausage party

Why choose between big sausage motif and safety handrails when you can simply have both?

9) DIY horror movie

I’ve seen Hereditary, I know how this ends.

8) A fresh perspective

Imagine a world where these stairs are actually the start of a fun slide and the heater is actually just a little guy waiting for the green light to slide down? Look at his little feet waiting patiently!

7) Spiral: From the Book of Saw

I want to play a little game: what… is… this… room?

6) Would you rather? 

Donk your head on this giant pillar every time you go up and down the stairs, or remove the pillar and have the entire roof collapse on you? Decisions, decisions.

5) The forbidden nook

Nobody ever goes in, and nobody ever comes out.

4) No barrier

No problem!

3) Green room

If anyone ever invites you into “the green room” via a retractable ladder, you turn and you run. Forever.

2) The hybrid

Some days you’re the stairs, other days you are the pole. But every day you are those janky handrails just giving it a crack.

1) Squid Game bunk

Sweet dreams xxx

Keep going!