We need to address the elephant in the room, aka the random dishwasher in the middle of the lounge. 

Auckland designer Richard Parry has been cataloguing curiosities within the local rental market in a long-running segment on his Instagram page called Crap Rentals. As a part of Rent Week, Parry has given The Spinoff the keys to his illustrious archive of shocking, uneasy, hilarious and ridiculous rental properties advertised across Aotearoa.

Today, we look at 10 of the weirdest placement of furniture (and other ephemera) in rental ads across the motu.

10) Santa’s grotto

Is that a massage table or a gurney from a morgue? Either way, this placement does NOT look good for our Saint Nick.

9) Patriotic loo

Please be upstanding as this toilet sings the national anthem.

8) Flue on the piss

7) Scary bump 

6) A wild dishwasher appears

Please be upstanding as this dishwasher joins the patriotic toilet in a moving rendition of ‘Welcome Home’.

5) Hinge cringe

Whomst or what is behind that door?

4) Lion splashback

A new collaboration between the folks who brought you ‘Lion in the Meadow’ and ‘Rat in Mi Kitchen’.

3) Sensing head-donks

You’re really going to want to make sure you go to sleep the right way here…

2) Coastal views

Basically an overwater bungalow in Bora Bora.

1) Business and pleasure

Get you a room that can do both.