We can make this happen, New Zealand
We can make this happen, New Zealand

SportsJanuary 14, 2019

New Zealand, it’s time to make Steven Adams an All-Star

We can make this happen, New Zealand
We can make this happen, New Zealand

Every year the NBA holds an All-Star game, showcasing the best players in the league, as voted in by players, league officials, and fans. It’s time for New Zealand to make Steven Adams an All-Star. Here’s how.

When was the last time you felt pure, unadulterated patriotism? Now when was the last time you put that feeling into action? The kind of action that makes people around the world look at you and say “wow, they really got a silver fern AND the southern cross tattooed on their chest”.

Outside of generic tattoos, sitting up straight when Robert De Niro mentions New Zealand in the movie Heat (1995), and a nationwide superiority complex, there are seldom opportunities for tangata Aotearoa to show how much we support our fellow men and women. We’re just that little island off the coast of Australia that doesn’t exist in a lot of newsroom maps. What chance do we have of actually making a difference in the world? When have we ever had the opportunity to make the world stop and listen? Make them finally acknowledge that we exist and we are proud and we exist (again, in case they forgot). Never, is the answer.

Until now.

We’ve been blessed with one chance, one opportunity, as a nation of people, to make a difference.

We can make Steven Adams an NBA All-Star.

Public voting for the 2019 All-Star game began last month and despite a real lack of votes coming from New Zealand, Adams is sitting tight on the leaderboard in the West with just over one million votes. The All-Stars aren’t picked solely from fan votes but they factor in more than they should, and Adams is off to a surprisingly good start in the polls. Those votes are largely thanks to the Oklahoma fans loving Adams and showing their support. That’s right. New Zealand is being outdone by a state because sports fans in America will actually support their players beyond a profile picture All Blacks frame during the World Cup. It’s shameful and embarrassing and like when your kid* spends the night at their friend’s house and comes home to tell you how cool their friend’s parents are**. New Zealand is not a cool parent. But we can be.

*I don’t have kids.

**My kids do not compare me to their friend’s parents because I don’t have kids but I’m sure this happens a lot.

There’s one week left to vote and, if blind national pride isn’t enough for you to vote for New Zealand’s shiny basketball star, here are a few reasons Steven Adams should be an All-Star.

Convinced already? Vote here.

1) He deserves it

Adams has had the best season of his career. He’s averaging a double double per game with 15.4 points and 10.1 rebounds, and shooting 60% from the field. He’s made himself invaluable to the Oklahoma City Thunder and is widely considered one of, if not the, best rebounders in the league, as well as one of the best bigs. If this all means nothing to you, don’t worry, your ignorant vote still counts.

2) He’s New Zealand’s best shot

There are no other New Zealanders up for All-Star consideration because there are no other New Zealanders playing in the NBA. There’s no reason for you to vote for anyone else, especially if you know nothing about basketball. New Zealand loves to cut down tall poppies (you can make your own tall man/tall poppy joke here) so it’s about time we…watered one? Zaza Pachulia, who sucks, nearly became an All Star in 2016 because his home country of Georgia all voted for him. Steven Adams doesn’t even suck so what are you waiting for?

Let’s all vote harder than that hand is holding Adams’ neck (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

3) It will cost you literally nothing

Have you ever walked out of a supermarket and been approached by someone with a petition? And they launch into a passionate spiel about their cause and it sounds vaguely important but you’re not paying attention because you want to go home so you just sign it and trust that it has helped this person and their probably good cause? This is one of those petitions. It’s free to vote. It takes one minute. Then you never have to think about it ever again. It’s 2019, the year we start being more generous with things that cost us nothing. Chuck a like on that Instagram selfie from someone you’re merely acquaintances with. Tell a stranger you appreciate them or their work. Vote for Steven Adams to play in the NBA All-Star game.

4) His name is at the top of the list

The voting page lists every active player in the NBA alphabetically. Adams is one of the first names you see so you can vote for him without having to scroll at all. They’ve really made it so easy for us.

5) He doesn’t even want to go

What a hilarious prank it would be! Do it for the lols! The All-Star game is typically made up of superstars who average 30 points a game and can dunk, shoot three pointers, break ankles and more, in two possessions. Adams did a Eurostep on a fast break layup once and the whole stadium nearly melted with shock and excitement. Imagine him in an All-Star game! It would be funny at the very least.

How to vote

1. Click on this link.

2. Follow the very simple instructions there.

3. Google “steven adams all star vote” and vote again right there on Google.

3. Repeat daily until January 21 when public voting closes.

4. Finally call yourself a true New Zealander.

Keep going!