Vivek Ramaswamy (left). Author, Brannavan Gnanalingam (right).
Vivek Ramaswamy (left). Author, Brannavan Gnanalingam (right).

BooksNovember 2, 2024

A new novel imagines a New Zealand version of the conservative South Asian grifter

Vivek Ramaswamy (left). Author, Brannavan Gnanalingam (right).
Vivek Ramaswamy (left). Author, Brannavan Gnanalingam (right).

There’s little to like about figures like American politician Vivek Ramaswamy, but there is a lot to learn. 

Earlier this year, American politician and failed Republican candidate, Vivek Ramaswamy, hosted notorious bagpipe, Ann Coulter, on his podcast. They talked for an hour, and frankly there’s no way I’m going to spend an hour listening to their idiotic wittering. However, there was an incredible opening to their chat, and it helped inspire my new novel, The Life and Opinions of Kartik Popat.

I am going to dissect this clip, frame by frame, to show that I mean incredible as in “lacking all human credibility” rather than “astoundingly great”. Let’s begin!

The clip opens with Ramaswamy with his hands clasped, as if he were preparing for a second attempt while severely constipated. He’s also wearing an American pin, but I presume that’s active leisurewear for someone who ran for the Republicans. Coulter said she was a real fan of Ramaswamy. Ramaswamy is pleased, though only shows it with a slight smile at the corner of his mouth. 

I’m less focused on the praise, and more wondering what was on his blurred bookshelf. The urtexts of South Asian 20th century literature, Rushdie, Naipaul, or Ambedkar? His own magnum opuses, Woke Inc or Nation of Victims: Identity Politics, the Death of Merit, and the Path Back to Excellence? 

It doesn’t matter. He’s particularly wealthy, having purchased a pharmaceutical company and making a lot of money touting a drug that would cure Alzheimer’s, and then selling early before a major clinical trial by that company failed miserably and resulted in investors losing a bunch. He made $175 million from the company despite it never being profitable under his watch (see further: Who Is Vivek Ramaswamy, The Longshot GOP Presidential Candidate Who Helped Take Down Don Lemon?). 

Coulter proceeds to praise Ramaswamy for his intelligence. He is almost smiling, but too guileful to fully show it. Almost as if he’d been angling for it the whole time, and annoyed that it took her that long to say it. 

Ramaswamy pulled out of his presidential campaign following the very first primary in Iowa in January, after receiving just 7.64% of the vote (despite being seen as a rising star and one to watch). It was an interesting tactic for Ramaswamy to run for president, as he had already endorsed Donald Trump, but I guess he used this to build his profile enough so that he could do public services (like host shows such as this and/or be covered in barely-read New Zealand op-eds on The Spinoff) rather than simply swim around in a money bin like most rich people.

Unlike many of the ethnic MPs in New Zealand whose policy pronouncements are simply shushed by their parties, I guess he does set out some fairly deranged policy platforms, although I’m also obsessed with the idea of brown people who try really, really hard to sound really, really smart, even when no one is actually listening (please don’t use this criticism on minor brown novelists).

Coulter immediately throws in a “joke” about black people: “I guess I can call you ‘articulate’ because you’re not an American black”. This is a very loaded term, historically used to denigrate black people in the US. I guess it shows that when you’ve only got one grift, which is to make people angry about minorities, then you’ll look to shoehorn a dog whistle into any conversation, even 10 seconds into a basic introduction. But just look at Ramaswamy’s grin. Even his dry eyes find it funny.

There was more praise, but perhaps Ramaswamy’s eyes suggest he doesn’t fully believe her. That something more is coming.

There is a new and disheartening phenomenon of politicians with South Asian heritage picking at historical and racial scabs in a country’s framework. To be clear: I don’t mean the scabs to do with their own immigration, I mean: these politicians take advantage of a unique moment – while the Global Financial Crisis has been viewed as a failure for the left (in that it failed to respond adequately), the traditional centre-right is also particularly weak, and some of its internal contradictions are prevalent.

My go-to topic when cornered at kids’ birthday parties (and before their parents ask me to leave): the right has struggled to define itself in the post-GFC environment, falling back on nationalism and crony capitalism, leaving space for ethnic politicians to attack other minorities within that populist environment.

Ramaswamy has called himself an “unapologetic nationalist”, has stated that “our diversity is not our strength”, and claimed that “I’m sure the boogeyman white supremacist exists somewhere in America. I’ve just never met him. Never seen one, never met one in my life, right? Maybe I’ll meet a unicorn sooner.” (The day before a mass shooting by a white supremacist in Jacksonville). It feels like a classic example of a person with Indian heritage dunking on black people to make white people think he’s white. 

His fellow Republican candidate with Indian heritage, Nikki Haley, tied herself up in her campaign by claiming the Civil War was about freedom and about what people could and couldn’t do, and also that “the United States has never been a racist country“. That’s not to mention shadowy figures, like Kash Patel, who works for and has publicly called for Donald Trump to be installed as dictator, but also sells “KP” tank tops and T-shirts as a side hustle

In the UK, Suella Braverman and Priti Patel led the charge on opposing refugees and asylum seekers, and proposed increasingly hardline policy responses from their Conservative government (including deporting asylum seekers in the UK to Rwanda). Even in New Zealand, ACT MP Parmjeet Parmar has been vocal on opposing Māori and Pasifika spaces at Auckland University, and opposing first-year Treaty courses.

Possibly the only benefit from political figures like these is that it skewers the concept of representational politics – that actually South Asians are as diverse in their thinking and their views as any other minority (well, India is also ruled by the BJP), and essentialist ideas are nonsense. Silver linings, I guess. 

Back to the video. The kicker comes with Coulter’s next statement, “But I still would not have voted for you, because you’re an Indian.” It’s a brutal statement, delivered in a blunt, throwaway way. Ramaswamy looks impassive in response, as he’s snookered by his own logic: you can’t say racism doesn’t exist if you’re then being targeted by it. His eyes reveal nothing about any internal churn or embarrassment, as he’s humiliated on his own podcast. He is also trying to figure out, in real time, some way he could sell it as a win. 

Ramaswamy shows that you can grease up to racist folks by doing some of the heavy lifting for them, but they’ll still never view you as one of them. You’re just the hired help. And they’ll still view you as a loser. 

Look at where they are now: Braverman’s ugly rhetoric got swept aside as Nigel Farage took the credit for it in the recent UK election. Rishi Sunak led the Conservatives to its worst vote share in its history. Nikki Haley got mocked relentlessly by Donald Trump, regardless, and lost, badly (she still says she’ll vote for him). Priti Patel was the first loser in the recent Conservative Party election for leader of the opposition. Ramaswamy’s public response to Coulter was so contemptible that I almost feel second-hand embarrassment typing it out: “I respect that she had the guts to speak her mind.” Nah man, you were a doormat.

I wanted to capture this ugliness in my novel, grift off the grift, and imagine a New Zealand equivalent. Presumably mocking other minorities must be rewarding in its own way (putting aside the societal impacts) – power, money, royalties from tank-top sales, and kudos from the worst people who’d discard you the moment they don’t need you – and all you have to pay is your self-respect. 

The Life and Opinions of Kartik Popat by Brannavan Gnanalingam ($35, Lawrence & Gibson) is available from Unity Books and from Lawrence and Gibson

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