A new poem by Chris Price.

Hello I am your safety

Hello I am your safety officer
today, may I gently suggest
you don’t climb that tree or
shout for joy like a chimpanzee.

It’s my task to see that you stick
to the path, the basics, the party
line (and no of course
not that kind of party line).

Please wear your lifejacket
at all times. Don’t touch
the emergency brake except
in case of emergency

in which case please know
you’re on your own. Once you’ve
stepped out that door I accept
no liability – I cannot help you

any more, so think twice about
the cost of insurance, which if
you’ve ever pushed a letter
of the alphabet up your nose

or used a knife to remove
an avocado stone, you’ll already know
is prohibitive. There is
no compensation for making

your own mistakes, which is why
I say sincerely stay out of the water
and be sure to leave flotation and
other such complex instruments

to the experts, the ones who run
your house and land from the safety
of the bank, and who live at the top
of their game — never try

to out-compete them, it’s best
to know your place even if
you don’t own it, and not transgress
your limits. If you can do all that

you’ll be fine and we can take this flight
together, secure in the knowledge
that after any turbulence — please return
to your seat — that when we land

there’ll still be a place for everyone
and everyone in their place.
Trust me – there’s no point in
arguing the toss. I learned that

early, now I’m passing my hard-
earned wisdom on to you.
You should be grateful. That’s what
they always say – and I am.

Remember only a saint can levitate
that high; today’s guidelines
suggest you should be
less ambitious,

so as not to bring more wrath
down on your head
than your shoulders can support
and if you do all that and also

wear this handy hard-hat well
there’ll always be a place
and you can stay there
where we left you.

The Friday Poem is edited by Chris Tse. Submissions are currently closed.